What We Leave Behind by Rochelle B. Weinstein Read Free Book Online

school arrogance, you like having me around.”
    “And you, Jessica Parker, you’re always trying to act all cool and macho, but I know beneath all that grade school charm, you wanted to have lunch with me.”
    The music of Jefferson Starship was in the backdrop of our play, and I began to hum along to “You Can Count On Me” while Jonas pretended not to hear. Well, he wasn’t wrong. I knew I was fascinated and sort of scared of him at the same time—a lethal combination when it came to matters close to the heart.
    “What are you going to do for your dad’s birthday?” I asked, suddenly at a loss for words. He didn’t think to ask me how I managed to obtain knowledge of this kind.
    “We’ll probably just try to make it as normal a day for him as possible. Amy will be here. She’s finishing this ballet camp thing in San Francisco. You’ll finally get to meet her. And then some of Dad’s friends from work mentioned visiting. The hospital might give clearance that day for more visitors, though I don’t think he wants any of them to see him like this. I told him I’d sneak him in a bottle of his favorite wine.”
    You’ll get to meet her , was all I heard, as if there was a progression in our friendship, an invitation into his family. The welcoming gesture poured out of him, and if he had wanted to filter it, he did not. To be part of a unit like the Levys was something I had been pining for my whole life.
    “I’d like that,” I said.
    “I figured you would. You never leave this place. Why aren’t you somewhere with Beth doing something fun?”
    I thought about this. I knew what he was asking with those words. It was what lingered beneath them that bothered me. “You don’t think I’m serious about becoming a doctor?”
    “I believe you,” he answered, shoveling a handful of greasy fries into his mouth. “You can be anything you want to be, anything you set your mind to. I just think you hang around this place too much. It’s kind of unnatural.”
    “Unnatural? It’s my job.”
    “You’re a volunteer,” he reminded me. “When your shift is up, you don’t leave. When it’s your day off, you come in. You can’t possibly want to hang around sick people all day and all night?”
    “I like it here. I like the way everybody knows each other, like an extended family.”
    “That’s just it, they’re not your family, they’re not even your friends. What is it with you?”
    I thought I heard Dr. Norton’s voice reverberating in my mind.
    “You’re different, Jessie Parker,” he said with a smile. “You’re not like other fifteen-year-olds I’ve met.”
    “Do you comb the local high schools for friends?”
    “And you’re pretty sharp. That doesn’t come from someone who’s just plain ordinary.”
    “I never said I was ordinary, Jonas, you did.”
    I fingered the glass of chocolate milk, watching the smooth, clear line I painted across the frosty glass. I wanted to talk to Jonas. I wanted him to hear my voice, the collection of words that would tell my story, but I was frightened of the truth, frightened of what I’d hear, and frightened of what I’d learn about myself.
    I turned to the couple beside me and all the while Jonas’s eyes never shifted from my face. I couldn’t look at him. Already I was convinced he could read my overflowing mind, and my vulnerability was a skin I never showed and never shed. That he saw me as nothing short of invincible was essential to our friendship.
    “This couple here,” I said, pointing discreetly to my left, “do you think that’s his daughter?”
    “You’re changing the subject.”
    “Or do you think they’re married? Or she’s the girlfriend?”
    “What’s this about, Jessie?”
    “Just answer me. What do you think?”
    “I don’t know. It’s probably his daughter.”
    I turned to them again. He was still holding her hand. The girl no longer looked frightened. She looked at ease, safe. An exchange passed between them. There was