Where Grace Abides by BJ Hoff Read Free Book Online Page B

sadness, daughter. Is there anything I can do?”
    Rachel caught a sharp breath, clearly surprised. “Oh—no, Mamma! I’m not…sad. I was just thinking.”
    Susan searched her daughter’s dark eyes. “Thinking about Captain Gant, were you?”
    A faint blush stained Rachel’s face. “No, I—”
    She stopped, quickly glancing away. Rachel never could lie.
    Susan patted her hand. “It’s all right, Rachel. I know this has been a very hard thing for you.” She paused. “It will take time, daughter, but eventually the pain will erase. You will heal.”
    Still not looking at her, Rachel said, “I’m sorry, Mamma. I didn’t realize my feelings showed so much.”
    Susan cupped her daughter’s chin and gently turned her around to face her. “Your feelings don’t show to everyone, Rachel. But is there really a need for you and I to pretend?”
    Rachel squeezed her eyes shut a moment. When she opened them, the tears that glistened there tore at Susan’s heart.
    â€œIt hurts so much, Mamma,” she said, her voice choked. “I love Jeremiah. Really, I do.”
    â€œI know you do.” Susan hated this helplessness, this awful frustration of not being able to console her own daughter. “I’m so sorry, mei liewi Rachel. I wish it could have worked out differently for you and the captain.”
    Even as she watched, Rachel’s expression seemed to clear. She straightened and reached out to touch her mother’s cheek lightly.“I don’t want to take away from your happiness, Mamma. I’ll be all right. Really, I will.”
    â€œYou’re taking nothing away from me,” Susan said, forcing a note of firmness into her tone.
    Now Rachel smiled, this time a more natural smile. “I hope you know how happy I am for you, Mamma. Truly, I am. You and Dr. Sebastian are so right for each other. And we need to be making plans for your wedding soon. November isn’t all that far away, you know.”
    At the thought of just how close her wedding day actually was, Susan felt jittery inside. “There’s plenty of time,” she said, unwilling to let her nervousness show. “After all, David still has to say his vows and join church.”
    â€œAre you working on your wedding dress?”
    Suddenly Susan felt like a girl again. She nodded. “I’ve started it. Oh, Rachel, I’m going to need your help so much to get everything ready, but I don’t want to make things any harder for you.”
    Rachel took her by both shoulders. “Please don’t you think that way, Mamma! Not for a minute. Your happiness doesn’t hurt me—it helps me! I love seeing you so happy, and to think it’s all because of a man the entire community loves and respects. Dr. Sebastian is a wonderful person. You be happy, Mamma. You deserve it!”
    Susan put a finger to her lips. “No, Rachel. No one deserves the blessings we receive from God’s hand. Who can say why He chooses to grant us any happiness at all, sinners that we are?”
    Rachel’s scrutiny somehow made her uncomfortable. “Do you really believe that, Mamma?”
    â€œWhy, of course I believe it!” Susan stopped. “Don’t you?”
    Rachel dropped her hands away, but her gaze still searched Susan’s face. “What about His grace, Mamma? What if the Lord God blesses us simply because He wants to? Not because we deserve it or because we’ve earned it but just because He loves us.”
    â€œWe’re not worthy of such love, daughter,” Susan said sternly.
    Rachel sat motionless. She didn’t look at her mother, but sat staring at the kitchen window as if looking for an answer there.
    â€œYou and Eli,” Susan went on, “you let Phoebe and Malachi’s beliefs about such things influence you.”
    Rachel met her gaze directly. “It’s not just Phoebe and