White Apples by Jonathan Carroll Read Free Book Online Page A

work.
    "Have you taken your pulse? Do you have a heartbeat?"
    "No." Bruno looked suspiciously around, as if spies might be watching their every move. He shook his head. "What else? Is there anything else different about you since you discovered the truth?"
    The guy was so distraught that Ettrich didn't think it was the right moment to describe what had happened earlier with the cab-driver. Later. He would drop that one on Bruno when he was a little more stable. Ettrich said no, feeling the slightest bit guilty for lying.
    "Me neither. But what do we do, Vincent? What does this mean ?"
    "First tell me something—do you remember dying? Do you remember being dead? Anything at all?"
    "No. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's what's so goddamned creepy about this—how can you die and be dead but not remember it? I don't remember one thing."
    Ettrich sighed and rubbed his mouth. "The same with me. I was hoping you'd remember something and we could start from there but obviously that's out now. Look, I'll just tell you how it happened to me and we can compare notes."
    "Yeah good, that's good. Tell me."
    Slowly and with as much detail as he could remember, Ettrich told Mann about meeting Coco, their affair, and the events of that evening. Bruno said nothing, only nodding sometimes and making hand gestures for more detail, or "wait a minute" while he digested the facts. When he heard about his name tattooed on Coco's neck, he closed his eyes and sucked in his lips. Then he laughed but said nothing. Instead, he picked up the empty whiskey glass and spun it around and around in his hand.
    When Ettrich had finished his story, the only things he left out were what had happened in the taxi and the news about Isabelle.
    "But why did Coco go on all those weeks letting you think things were normal? What was the point?"
    "She said I had to figure it out for myself. She was just waiting for a sign from me. When I saw you after you died, that was it. But I don't know what to believe, Bruno, because then she disap•peared. How did it happen to you?" He sat in the chair with his legs spread wide, shoulders slumped, elbows on knees. He looked both tired and defeated, as if he had just gotten bad news or spent an especially difficult day at work.
    Bruno rubbed his eyes with the heels of his small hands. He was a handsome man. He had a certain gravitas that gave him a substantial and trustworthy air. You wanted him on your side of an argument.
    "I'm gay, Vincent. It took me a whole lifetime to realize that and then admit to it. When I did, it felt like a stone had been lifted off my soul. Don't get me wrong—I have a wonderful wife and we've had a good life together. But it was a lie and part of me always knew it.
    "Know what I like about you, Vincent? How much you love women. Not so much the way you behave toward them because from what I've seen, sometimes you're a stinker. But you were always so sure they were the best thing on this planet. Sure. You were always sure of who you were and what you wanted.
    "Not me. Looking back on it now, I was your classic closet gay. I won't go into detail because who cares, but all the time it was there and I pushed it away like it was the plague. But eventually you have to deal with it. Especially today, when it's not the worst crime in the world to want to be together with another man.
    "Then I met Edward Brandt."
    "The guy you said I introduced you to at Acumar?"
    "Right. For your benefit we pretended to be meeting for the first time. But we've known each other for months. He owns La Strada, the men's store. Do you know it?"
    "No." A thought came to Ettrich like someone stamping a foot hard on the floor. "He owns a store? Where is it?
    Where is the place?"
    Bruno was annoyed at the interruption. "On North Wells."
    Ettrich slowly put both hands flat on the table. "678 North Wells, right?" "How do you know?"
    "Because that's the address of Coco's place. Both of our friends run different stores at the same