Wild Song by Janis Mackay Read Free Book Online

didn’t look at him. And I couldn’t believe how bad I was feeling about the swimming thing. I’d got myself so worked up for swimming, and now he was wittering on about music. ‘I can see about getting you music lessons, if you like. Maybe we can fix that up for you.’
    ‘I thought we were going to swim. I want to swim. You’re confusing me.’
    ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘We’re supposed to offer you variety. You know, bit of this, bit of that. That’s part of the philosophy – widen your horizons and all that. Give you opportunities.’
    ‘I don’t want bits of this and that.’ I glared at him. ‘Iwant to swim in the sea.’ I couldn’t believe I was actually saying that, but when the words came out I knew it was true. That was what I wanted. He could stuff his guitar or his drum kit, and his dedication. I wanted to get off this island. And learning to swim in the sea would be a first step to swimming to freedom. Maybe I could make it all the way back to Helsinki, or find my own island, or sneak onto a boat? I wasn’t only skilled in picking things. I could be skilled in swimming, I knew I could.
    ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ he said, cutting in on my escape plans. Hannu sounded none too hopeful.
    ‘Whatever,’ I mumbled, then yanked back the door handle and snuck into my room.
    ‘Goodnight then, Niilo,’ Hannu said.
    I slammed the door in his face. But I didn’t hear his footsteps go off as I stood at the other side of the door. I could feel he was still there, at the other side. We stood like that for ages, then I heard him tap the door.
    ‘Listen, Niilo,’ he said, his voice kind of choked up. ‘There’s something I have to tell you. It’s not about swimming, or music. It’s about me … moving on.’ I didn’t say a word. ‘I told you already I won’t be here for ever.’ There was a long silence. ‘Are you listening, Niilo?’
    I didn’t move. For all he knew I could have been under the bed with my head under the pillow, so I blanked his words. I thought he was going to come clean about his huge scar, or witter on about playing in a band, but Hannu didn’t tell me anything.
    ‘Niilo?’ he tried.
    I still didn’t move. I hardly breathed. He didn’t say anything after that, and after about ten minutes I heard his footsteps go off.

Chapter Nine
    When I saw Hannu the next day he didn’t mention the thing he had to tell me. ‘You know,’ he said, when we were in the workshop together, pulling the green tops from the strawberries and tossing the red berries into a huge copper pan for jam making. ‘That smile suits you, Niilo. It’s like the sun has come out.’
    ‘I’ve been practising,’ I said. I felt in a good mood – I don’t know why, I just did.
    ‘What? Smiling?’
    I laughed. ‘No! Swimming. I’ve been lying on the floor, doing the strokes like you said. I think I could swim in the sea. If I wanted I could escape from this prison.’
    ‘You want that?’
    ‘Freedom,’ I said, as though that word said all the other words I couldn’t.
    Hannu had these dark eyes that saw right into you. ‘Like I said, Niilo,’ he said, giving me the serious look, ‘it’s in there.’ He pointed to my chest, meaning ‘heart’, I suppose.
    ‘Easy for you to say.’ I pointed my finger at him now. ‘You knock off at six. You jump on that ferry. You take days off. You zoom about on your motorbike. You listen to music. You play in a band. You go into bars. You smoke …’
    ‘I don’t smoke.’
    ‘Well, you could. You do whatever you feel like. Easy for you to say freedom’s in here.’ I whacked my chest hard.
    ‘Whoa, steady on.’ I saw a shadow flit over his face. Maybe he freaked at how hard I’d hit myself. I was going to do it again, so he grabbed my arm. ‘Look, Niilo, I know you’re angry. That’s okay. But don’t beat yourself up.’ He let my arm go and I let my arms flop. ‘You and I need to sit down and have a chat. There’s something I need to tell you.