Wilt in Nowhere by Tom Sharpe Read Free Book Online

careful. I’ll say…’ She looked

    at the calendar with the kitten on the wall. ‘I’ll say Thursday 7th or 14th or whatever

    Thursday you’re to do it. And that’s all.’
    ‘Why Thursday?’ Bert asked.
    ‘Cos that’s when they play bridge at the Country Club till after midnight and he gets so

    drunk she can do what she likes with him and she don’t go home till 4 or 5 in the morning.

    You’ll have time enough to do what I told you.’
    Bert drove past the Manor House, checked the lane behind it and then drove north with the

    map Martha Meadows had given him. He paused for a moment outside the Rottecombes’ house,

    Leyline Lodge, and decided to come down again and make sure he knew exactly where to go.

    He’d borrow a friend’s car for that trip too. He’d learnt a lot from Martha and he didn’t want

    to get her into trouble.

Chapter 8
    Eva was not having a wonderful time. What she was going through was keeping her wide

    awake with worry half the night. After the effusive greetings at the airport from Uncle

    Wally and Auntie Joan and their delight at seeing the quads again, they had driven out to

    the private jet bearing the logo of Immelmann Enterprises and had climbed aboard. The

    jet had been cleared for take-off and presently they were flying west towards Wilma. Below

    them the landscape was dotted with lakes and rivers and after a while they were over woods

    and hills, with signs of habitation few and far between. The quads peered out of the

    windows and to satisfy their curiosity. Uncle Wally put the jet into a dive and

    levelled out quite low down so that they could see the ground even better. Eva, who wasn’t

    accustomed to flying and had never been up in a small plane before, felt queasy and

    frightened. But at least the girls were enjoying the ride and Uncle Wally was enjoying

    showing off his flying skills to them.
    ‘She isn’t as fast as the jets I flew in the Air Force out of Lakenheath, England,’ he

    said, ‘but she’s good and manoeuvrable and she covers the ground fast enough for an old man

    like me.’
    ‘Oh, shoot, honey, you ain’t old,’ Auntie Joan said. ‘I don’t like you using that word.

    Everybody’s just as old as they feel and the way you feel, Wally, feels pretty good and

    young to me. How’s Henry these days, Eva?’
    ‘Oh, Henry’s just fine,’ said Eva, readily adapting to American.
    ‘Henry’s a great guy,’ said Wally. ‘You got the makings of a great man there, Evie, you

    know that? I guess you girls are mighty proud of your daddy, eh? Having a daddy who’s a

    professor is really something.’
    Penelope began the process of disillusionment.
    ‘Dad’s not ambitious,’ she said. ‘He drinks too much.’
    Wally said nothing but the plane dipped a little.
    ‘A guy’s got a right to a little liquor after a hard day’s work,’ he said. ‘That’s what I

    always say, isn’t it, Joanie honey?’
    Auntie Joan’s smile suggested that that was indeed exactly what he always said. It

    also suggested disapproval.
    ‘I gave up smoking though,’ Wally said. ‘Man, that stuff kills you and no mistake. Feel a

    hundred and ten per cent better since I quit.’
    ‘Dad’s taken up smoking again,’ Samantha told him. ‘He smokes a pipe because he says

    everyone is against smoking and no one is going to tell him what to do and what not to

    do.’
    The plane dipped again.
    ‘He really says that? Henry really says that? That no one is going to tell him what

    not to do?’ said Wally, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the two women. ‘Would you

    credit that? And he ain’t much to look at manhoodwise either.’
    ‘Wally!’ said Auntie Joanie and there was no mistaking her meaning.
    ‘And you stop speaking about Daddy like that,’ Eva told Samantha with equal

    firmness.
    ‘Hell, I didn’t mean nothing by it,’ said Wally. ‘Manhood is just an expression.’
    ‘Yeah, and yours isn’t anything to write home about