Witch Slapped (Witchless In Seattle Mysteries Book 1) by Dakota Cassidy Read Free Book Online

me when my medium abilities were long gone.
    Or were they? I was afraid to get my hopes up. So I squashed them like an annoying fly, hovering over a plate of watermelon.
    No way was I going to get all juiced just to find out this was some crazy fluke, or worse, start hoping maybe I’d retained some of my powers. I couldn’t be crushed like that twice in a lifetime.
    “Hah!” I barked. “Do I remember Mr. Stowe?” I scrunched up my face and made a sour expression, puffing out my chest. “These are classics we’re reading, children! This is Shakespeare and Theroux. Just because they don’t use words like ‘dis’ and ‘da-bomb’ doesn’t mean they can’t be equally as interesting!”
    Sandwich howled a laugh. “That was Mr. Stowe all right.”
    Even racking my brain, I still couldn’t remember Sandwich. “I can’t believe I don’t remember you.”
    “Well, if I’m honest, I didn’t show up near as much as I shoulda. But I straightened out pretty good. And my real name’s Lyn. Lyn Paddington. They called me Sandwich because someone once dared me to eat a sardine sandwich with mayo and sweet pickles in the cafeteria.”
    That’s when it hit me. “Oh! I do remember! You threw up on Principal Fellows at assembly in the auditorium!”
    A groan whispered in my ear, giving me a rash of goose bumps along my arms. “Ah. You Americans. You’re so well educated—or maybe a more apt word is refined. Is it any wonder you have people the likes of The K—”
    “Shh!” I ordered, only to realize Sandwich was looking at me with curious eyes. So I faked a loud sneeze. “Sorry. I think I’m catching a cold. So you threw up on Principal Fellows.”
    “Yep. That was me. Lost my cookies all over the front row, too. Had the nickname ever since. So what brings you back to Ebenezer Falls, Stevie? Heard you moved to New York for a little while. Then I think we lost track of ya come reunion time.”
    How did I explain this? A crooked council member and a witch-slapping to beat all slaps is what had me here, tail between my legs. My life in ruins, maybe?
    I sighed. Rather than tell him the truth, I put my Stevie spin on my tale of woe. “I missed home, I guess. You know, you get to a certain age and you start to hanker for the things that once brought you comfort. Familiar things, I suppose.”
    His glance told me he wasn’t quite sure what I meant. Probably because Sandwich had never left Ebenezer Falls. “Heard your mom moved to Rome. That’s pretty exciting.”
    Yep. With warlock husband number five, who’d advised her to stay out of the mess I was in for fear the council would exact some kind of retribution. Bart the warlock was all about playing by the council rules, and my mother, Dita, was happy to oblige, seeing as Bart paid all the bills for their posh villa and cruises to Saint Tropez.
    “She did. She seems very happy there.”
    Sandwich pulled to a stop in front of the police station, right across the street from the docks where various boats were tied up along the sides of the pier, bobbing in the choppy waters of February.
    The police station hadn’t changed much. Not that I spent any amount of time here when I was a kid. I’d been on a tour once during a scared-straight seminar that was all the rage when we were in high school.
    Mostly, the lesson was don’t end up like Old Man Cletus, who drank a little at this old bar where fishermen hung out and ended up in the drunk tank from time to time. He was the best Ebenezer Falls had to offer in the way of hardened criminals, and the program scared absolutely no one straight.
    The brick structure still lacked the intimidation factor. In fact, it looked more like a long, flat house, with its arched windows and winding cobblestone pathway lined with short box-hedges.
    Sandwich put his hands on the steering wheel and caught my gaze from the rearview mirror. “We’re here.”
    I blew out a breath and waited for him to open the door before I slid out and