You are a Badass by Jen Sincero Read Free Book Online Page B

you’ll feel beautiful and confident and all proud of your nose when, just the day before, you were considering getting it sawed off.
    This is how ridiculous we are.
    Do not spend your life clinging to the insulting decisions you’ve made about yourself. Instead, make the conscious choice to replace them with new and improved ones.
    5. DITCH THE SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR
    Incessant self-deprecating humor is for losers. I get it—it can be hilariously funny and I’m totally guilty of it from time to time and there’s nobody I’d more enjoy backing over with my car than the guy who can’t laugh at himself, but I’m talking about the nonstop, self-flagellating,I Suckfest. Ripping on yourself gets old. Fast. Especially if it’s your shtick. So if you’re one of those people who falls back on making fun of yourself, every hour on the hour, not only are you basically begging people to think you’re a loser, but you’re begging yourself to think you’re a loser. It’s like hitting yourself over and over with a crowbar. Why on earth would you do that to your awesome self?
    What you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know. Seemingly harmless jokes, over time, turn into seriously destructive beliefs. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities. So if your favorite joke is that you couldn’t get a date if you demanded one at gunpoint, and you spend every Saturday night alone, perhaps you should come up with a new one-liner.
    And most importantly, constantly making fun of yourself is such a cheap way to be funny. Anyone can do it. So push yourself to come up with a new script. Your confidence, and we humor snobs, will thank you.
    6. LET THE LOVE IN
    Receive compliments gracefully instead of countering with a disclaimer such as, “Oh, this ratty old thing?” Try this instead: “Thank you.” Period.
    Take care of your body, too. We, if you’re anything like me, run around doing all our busy work with our poor bodies flapping behind us like old wind socks. When we’re pressed for time, it’s often the first thing to get overlooked. “I’ve got five meetings today, I’ll do my yoga tomorrow and have a power bar for lunch.” Meanwhile, during our little sojourn here on earth, we need our bodies more than they need us. Say nice things about your body, dress it up, and take it out. Give it hotsex, luxurious baths, and massages. Move it, stretch it, nourish it, hydrate it, pay attention to it—The better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are.
    7. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
    Have you ever done something that you’re so proud of and feel all on top of the world about until you see that someone else has done something similar that, in your mind, is better, and all of a sudden you feel sad?
Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life.
    It’s none of your business what other people are doing. All that matters is that you’re enjoying yourself and pleased with what you’re creating. It’s precisely your uniqueness that makes you awesome— deciding that someone else’s uniqueness is better than your own isn’t exactly being your own best buddy about things.
    Can you imagine what our world would be like if our biggest heroes succumbed to the perils of comparison? If Marilyn Monroe compared herself to Kate Moss and decided she needed to lose her curves? Or if the guys in Led Zeppelin compared themselves to Mozart? Dude. That guy’s huge. Way huger than we’ll ever be and he doesn’t even have a drummer. I think we should get rid of ours and maybe add some harps while we’re at it.
    You are more than enough. Avoid comparison like the plague.
    8. FORGIVE YOURSELF (LISTEN UP! THIS ONE’S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.)
    You have screwed up in the past. You will screw up again. Every human is born with the ability to make spectacular mistakes. You are