learning to un-love ourselves! How unbelievably ridiculous is that?! Self-love, the simplest yet most powerful thing ever , flies right out the window when we start taking in outside information.
I’m not talking about conceit or narcissism, because those things also come from fear and a lack of self-love. I’m talking about a deep connection with our highest selves, and an unshakable ability to forgive our lowest. I’m talking about loving ourselves enough to let go of guilt, resentment, and criticism and embrace compassion, joy, and gratitude.
When we’re happy and all in love with ourselves, we can’t be bothered with the bullshit (our own or other people’s).
Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that they weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions or skin colors or sexual preferences or talents or education or possessions or lack of possessions or religious beliefs or customs or their general tendency to just be whoever the hell they are. Imagine how different your reality would be (and the reality of everyone surrounding you) if you woke up every morning certain of your own lovability and your critically important role on this planet. And if you poo-pooed shame, guilt, self-doubt, and self-loathing and allowed yourself to be, do, and have everything your little heart desired.
THAT’S the kind of world I want to live in.
In the interest of perpetuating such radical, reality-altering self-love, here are some of the best ways to win yourself over again:
1. APPRECIATE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE
There will never be anyone exactly like you. You were given special gifts and talents to share with the world, and even though everybody has special gifts and talents, nobody will use theirs quite the same way you do. You have a way of being in the world and a perspective that’s unique to you. You are the only one who thinks your thoughts the way you think them. You have created your own unique reality and are living your life according to your own unique path. You are the only you that will ever be. You are kind of a big deal.
2. DROWN YOURSELF IN AFFIRMATIONS
Trust me, I wouldn’t do this to you unless I had to, but affirmations work. You don’t have to say them in the mirror, you don’t have to hug yourself or buy a special rainbow journal with a lock on it to write them down in, but if you want to turn the ship around, you need to rewire your brain and train it to think differently. And this is what affirmations can do for you.
Figure out which affirmations you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you’re walking down the street pretending to be on the phone, under your breathe in line at the DMV. Write them on Post-it notes and stick them aroundyour house, on your mirrors, in your refrigerator, in your car. Write down your favorite affirmations ten times every morning and ten times every night before you go to bed and say them out loud.
Here are some affirmations specific to self-love. Pick one or two that work for you and pummel yourself with them:
• I deserve and receive massive amounts of love every moment of every day.
• I am one with The Universe. The Universe is awesome and so am I.
• My heart is open. Love pours in and out.
• I receive all the good that life has to offer me.
• I am brilliant, bright, and beautiful.
• I love how tall I am and I love the size of my ass.
Or whatever. If none of these work, come up with some that don’t make you gag but that strike a nerve with you. The more emotion you feel around what you’re saying, the more power it will have to bring about positive change . And yes, at the beginning it may feel like you’re lying to yourself, but the truth is, you’re living the lie, so the affirmations get you back to truth.
This can’t be just rattling off nonsense—you have to feel it and want it and get worked up by it in order for it to work.
3. DO THINGS YOU LOVE
London Casey, Karolyn James