100 Things Cubs Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die by Jimmy Greenfield Read Free Book Online Page B

your time, Chicago’s Harold Washington Library keeps the archives of the Chicago Daily News , Chicago Sun-Times , and Chicago Tribune , the three newspapers for which Royko wrote his indispensable columns.

    Q. In 1969, when the Cubs blew the pennant to the New York Mets (Curse their souls!), Ron Santo got mad and screamed at the Cub center fielder because he goofed up. Who was this unfortunate young man?
    A. He was the immortal Don Young, and if I ever meet him, I’m going to scream at him, too.

    Q. The Cubs have had three home run champions since 1940. Which one spit the most?
    A. The immortal Bill Nicholson used to spit the most. He could spit 20' with the wind. One day, he accidentally spit on the immortal but tiny Peanuts Lowrey, and the game had to be held up while the trainer applied artificial respiration.

    Q. In 1958, the Cubs had a rookie who crossed himself every time he came to bat. Who was he, and can you come within 10 points of his batting average?
    A. The immortal Tony Taylor used to cross himself all the time. That year, he hit .235 and did not convert many atheists in the bleachers.

    Q. Who was tinier, Peanuts Lowrey or Dim-Dom Dallessandro?
    A. The immortal Dim-Dom Dallessandro was even tinier than the immortal Peanuts Lowrey, but he had enough sense to hide when the immortal Bill Nicholson was spitting.

    Q. In 1972, the Cubs got a pitcher named Bob Locker from the Oakland A’s. Who did they give away to acquire this all-time mortal?
    A. For the immortal Locker, the Cubs gave away Bill North, who has since been seen in numerous World Series games. Why do we remain Cubs fans? Are we all crazy?

    The Ex-Cub Factor
    Mike Royko didn’t discover the ex-Cub factor, but his many columns about the uncanny way in which the factor could predict the World Series loser made it famous. The man who discovered it was longtime Cubs fan and writer Ron Berler, who first introduced his theory in the Boston Herald on October 15, 1981, whimsically explaining the notion that having three or more ex-Cubs will kill a team’s chances of winning the World Series.
    In that first article, Berler wrote how former Cubs have the chronic condition of “Cubness” in them, and any team with too much of it will suffer. For example, in 1981 the Yankees had five ex-Cubs—Oscar Gamble, Bobby Murcer, Dave LaRoche, Rick Reuschel, and Barry Foote—and Berler’s prediction that they could not win the World Series came to pass. They lost to the Los Angeles Dodgers in six games.
    When Berler first put forth his theory, there was one exception to the rule: The 1960 Pittsburgh Pirates had ex-Cubs Smoky Burgess, Gene Baker, and Don Hoak. However, Berler surmised, because Hoak was virulently and publicly anti-Cub he had somehow escaped his “Cubness.”
    Incredibly, the ex-Cubs factor has twice been overcome in recent years. The 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks—with Luis Gonzalez, Mark Grace, Miguel Batista, and Mike Morgan—still managed to defeat the Yankees who had no ex-Cubs. It was also overcome in 2008 when the Philadelphia Phillies beat the Tampa Bay Rays despite having ex-Cubs Tom Gordon, Matt Stairs, Scott Eyre, and Jamie Moyer on the roster.
    Who knows? Maybe the time is coming when having three or more ex-Cubs will be an indicator of World Series success instead of failure.

13. Visit the Jack Brickhouse Statue on Michigan Avenue
    The school bells rang and for kids all over Chicagoland the mad dash home to catch as much of the Cubs game as possible was on. Waiting faithfully at the finish line, as always, was Jack Brickhouse.
    With a cherubic face and infectious enthusiasm that never seemed to dim, Brickhouse was exactly what the team that couldn’t win to save itself needed. Critics sometimes denounced him as being too nice and too much of a homer but so what? He was.
    “I don’t want to be a stick-in-the-mud, but when you go overboard you don’t hurt just the athlete,” Brickhouse wrote in his third biography, A Voice for All