7 Years Bad Sex by Nicky Wells Read Free Book Online Page B

and he suspected that most of the time it was both of them. All bluster and promise with no delivery. Why?
    After a few sleepless nights with no answers, he had pinned his hopes for resolving their stalemate on getting home and back to normal. He had it all planned out in his head. He would carry Casey over the threshold of their house, and then he would rip her clothes off and take her on the hall floor. Or maybe on the sofa in the lounge. Perhaps on the kitchen table? They hadn’t done the kitchen table before. He chuckled.
    ‘What’s so funny?’ Casey broke into his thoughts.
    Alex replied before he could check himself. ‘I’m thinking about our kitchen table.’
    ‘Our kitchen table?’
    ‘Yeah. You know, we’ve never done it there.’
    ‘Ah.’ Casey sent him a knowing look. ‘Shall we get home then? I could do with a shower.’
    ‘Oh gosh, me too,’ Alex agreed hastily.
    ‘It’ll be dinnertime by the time we get home.’ Casey was making some kind of point. Alex checked his watch. Four p.m.
    ‘Yeah.’ He nodded.
    ‘Do you reckon you’ll be up to eating?’
    ‘I hope so.’
    ‘Good. Great! Although it’ll have to be a takeaway.’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Because we have no food in the house.’
    ‘Sure.’ Takeaway always appealed.
    ‘Unless you fancy going shopping?’
    ‘Oh no, takeaway is fine.’
    ‘How about Thai?’
    Alex concealed a grin. There was an agenda there, he could tell. He played it cool. ‘Thai is fab.’
    ‘Great.’ Casey smacked her lips in an exaggerated fashion. ‘I fancy something with lots of ginger. And something with lots of chilli.’
    ‘Sounds like a plan.’ Alex wondered about the importance of ginger and chilli, but he didn’t get a chance to ask as it was their turn to grab a taxi. He entered into negotiations with the driver about their destination and fare, and they settled into the backseat, their luggage safely stowed in the boot.
    Alex watched the familiar Heathrow landscape zip past them.
    ‘Amazing how this whole ritual of driving home from the airport really says “you’re home”,’ he commented. He could feel some lyrics churning in his brain, words forming to capture the emotions he was experiencing.
    ‘Very true.’ Casey leaned against his shoulder and switched her mobile phone on. It began to beep and chirrup instantly.
    Alex chortled. ‘That also says “you’re home”. Perhaps we’d better emit a sign of life to friends and rellies.’ He switched on his own phone, which instantly jumped to life.
    For the next forty-five minutes, while the taxi carried them towards their little terraced house in Notting Hill, Alex and Casey tapped away at their mobile phones.
    Alex finished his round of calls first. Casey was still talking to Sasha, laughing, smiling, and gesticulating widely as though Sasha could see her. Actually, Alex realised with a start, they were doing a video call so, yes, Sasha could see Casey… and him. He waved.
    Casey rolled her eyes in a good-natured way. ‘Ignore him, Sasha. He’s a bit preoccupied.’
    ‘Is he now?’ Alex heard Sasha’s response. He flashed her what he hoped was a confident smile and turned away to leave the friends to catch up. Here was his chance…
    Surreptitiously, he hopped onto a search engine to satisfy his burning curiosity. Why chilli and ginger?
    Ah. Go figure. Chilli and ginger were reputed to be natural ways to enhance one’s libido. Alex grinned. He and his wife were two of a kind, and their minds definitely worked in the same ways.
    At last, the taxi pulled up in front of their house. Alex paid the driver and retrieved their suitcases. He struggled up the steps to their front door and barely managed to stop Casey from entering the house.
    ‘Casey, wait,’ he puffed and set down the cases heavily. ‘There’s something I’ve got to do.’
    Casey turned back, both feet mercifully still on the outside. ‘And what’s that?’
    ‘It’s customary for the husband to carry his new