lump of nausea. Joe watched her from his new position, half seated on the corner of the desk near to her.
'Are you pregnant, Clea?' he asked gently.
Clever Joe. Ever shrewd and perceptive Joe! With a muffled sob, as she stumbled from her seat, moving unsteadily over to the window behind his desk and staring blindly out, hugging herself as though cold.
Joe said nothing. Clea had just given him his answer with her reaction. She knew that as well as he did.
He felt at a loss to know what to say. He felt furious with Max. But, above all, he felt sorry for Clea.
'Mandy mentioned about your—sickness earlier,' he explained on a shrug. 'I put two and two together
... Have you told him?'
'No.' She hugged herself tighter.
'Don't you think you should?'
The waist-length mane of hair shook adamantly. 'He—he doesn't love me, Joe.' And it was all there, the pain, the misery, the fear and the heartache.
Joe's mouth thinned. 'He's very fond of you, Clea,' he said gruffly. 'I know he is.'
'No.' She refused to believe him. She looked so lonely, and young—painfully young, he thought.
'He'll think he has to marry me if he finds out,' she murmured, her voice so hoarse that Joe found difficulty in catching the words. 'And I can't let that happen. He'd hate me for it, I know he would.'
'You love him, don't you?'
'Yes.' She trembled, seeming to shake in a spasm that began at her shoulders and travelled down to her toes. Joe looked down at his feet. He was hating this. Clea was so proud, too proud to be reduced to this. He didn't want to witness it.
'You must tell him,' he stated grimly. 'He has a right to know.'
'Yes, I know,' she admitted wearily, still gazing out of the window. 'But he'll be angry—and rightfully so.
It was my fault.' She waved an empty hand. 'I have this stupid mental block where taking medication is concerned. It was my fault, and I'll shoulder the responsibility on my own ... I'll tell him,' she stated thickly, 'once I know what I'm going to do, once I have myself in hand again.'
'What about your parents?' Joe changed tack, he could see he wasn't going to get her to change her mind. 'They'll help you, surely?'
She turned at that, a wan smile on her too pale face. T'm certain they would—if I let them. But they've got themselves the most wonderful little love-nest going, and I can't intrude on that—not when they're only just getting used to being married.'
Joe knew her parents socially. He had been a friend of James's for years. It had been quite a joke at the time—when James had taken her and Amy to meet all his friends, and Clea found herself face to face with her personnel manager. 'They're so wrapped up in each other—it would be a crime for me to do anything to spoil it for them.'
Joe nodded solemnly in agreement. 'Then—what?'
Clea took in a deep breath and walked back to the desk, taking up a similar pose to Joe on the other corner. ‘I'm not suicidal,' she said with an attempt at lightness. T'm not going to have an abortion. I have my flat, and I can still work for a while yet, so I thought 1 would ring around the secretarial agencies ... '
'I may be able to help you there,' Joe cut in briskly. 'A colleague of mine is looking for a long-term temp, who's used to computer jargon, to step in while his own secretary visits her family in Canada. He runs a successful software distributors; he might be grateful to you for filling in. His secretary wants to make the visit a long one—months, I believe—but she won't go unless she's certain of her job on her return. She's an unmarried mother, you see ... ' His voice tailed off when he realised what he had said, looking uncomfortable.
Clea touched his arm to tell him it didn't matter. And, oddly enough, that aspect of her predicament didn't bother her much. It was the practical side of it all that concerned her. That, and losing Max.
'If you like, I could have a word with Brad,' Joe went on. 'I think she intends going until September.
How
'Are you pregnant, Clea?' he asked gently.
Clever Joe. Ever shrewd and perceptive Joe! With a muffled sob, as she stumbled from her seat, moving unsteadily over to the window behind his desk and staring blindly out, hugging herself as though cold.
Joe said nothing. Clea had just given him his answer with her reaction. She knew that as well as he did.
He felt at a loss to know what to say. He felt furious with Max. But, above all, he felt sorry for Clea.
'Mandy mentioned about your—sickness earlier,' he explained on a shrug. 'I put two and two together
... Have you told him?'
'No.' She hugged herself tighter.
'Don't you think you should?'
The waist-length mane of hair shook adamantly. 'He—he doesn't love me, Joe.' And it was all there, the pain, the misery, the fear and the heartache.
Joe's mouth thinned. 'He's very fond of you, Clea,' he said gruffly. 'I know he is.'
'No.' She refused to believe him. She looked so lonely, and young—painfully young, he thought.
'He'll think he has to marry me if he finds out,' she murmured, her voice so hoarse that Joe found difficulty in catching the words. 'And I can't let that happen. He'd hate me for it, I know he would.'
'You love him, don't you?'
'Yes.' She trembled, seeming to shake in a spasm that began at her shoulders and travelled down to her toes. Joe looked down at his feet. He was hating this. Clea was so proud, too proud to be reduced to this. He didn't want to witness it.
'You must tell him,' he stated grimly. 'He has a right to know.'
'Yes, I know,' she admitted wearily, still gazing out of the window. 'But he'll be angry—and rightfully so.
It was my fault.' She waved an empty hand. 'I have this stupid mental block where taking medication is concerned. It was my fault, and I'll shoulder the responsibility on my own ... I'll tell him,' she stated thickly, 'once I know what I'm going to do, once I have myself in hand again.'
'What about your parents?' Joe changed tack, he could see he wasn't going to get her to change her mind. 'They'll help you, surely?'
She turned at that, a wan smile on her too pale face. T'm certain they would—if I let them. But they've got themselves the most wonderful little love-nest going, and I can't intrude on that—not when they're only just getting used to being married.'
Joe knew her parents socially. He had been a friend of James's for years. It had been quite a joke at the time—when James had taken her and Amy to meet all his friends, and Clea found herself face to face with her personnel manager. 'They're so wrapped up in each other—it would be a crime for me to do anything to spoil it for them.'
Joe nodded solemnly in agreement. 'Then—what?'
Clea took in a deep breath and walked back to the desk, taking up a similar pose to Joe on the other corner. ‘I'm not suicidal,' she said with an attempt at lightness. T'm not going to have an abortion. I have my flat, and I can still work for a while yet, so I thought 1 would ring around the secretarial agencies ... '
'I may be able to help you there,' Joe cut in briskly. 'A colleague of mine is looking for a long-term temp, who's used to computer jargon, to step in while his own secretary visits her family in Canada. He runs a successful software distributors; he might be grateful to you for filling in. His secretary wants to make the visit a long one—months, I believe—but she won't go unless she's certain of her job on her return. She's an unmarried mother, you see ... ' His voice tailed off when he realised what he had said, looking uncomfortable.
Clea touched his arm to tell him it didn't matter. And, oddly enough, that aspect of her predicament didn't bother her much. It was the practical side of it all that concerned her. That, and losing Max.
'If you like, I could have a word with Brad,' Joe went on. 'I think she intends going until September.
How
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