About Time by Simona Sparaco Read Free Book Online

best friend: it’s music to her ears.
    “Just calm down now,” she insists, affectionately, reassuringly. “I want you as much as you want me, but here and now it’s crazy… You should have come without him, I told you. You knew this was going to happen…”
    However unacceptable all this might be, I have no intention of walking away, or of intervening. I need to know.
    “What would I have told Svevo? That I was going to Paris without him? To do what?” 
    “To be with me, if that isn’t too ridiculous.”
    “Do you think I wouldn’t like that, don’t be absurd, it’s just that I’m afraid he suspects… Ever since we arrived he’s been very strange.”
    “It’s impossible, trust me. Let me go, he could come in at any moment.”
    “You’re killing me, don’t you realize that?”
    From Gaëlle’s sighs, I deduce that they’re rubbing themselves against each other again, and that Federico is at the stage when you start to lose control. Anger now gives way to pain.
    “You’re going to sleep with me tonight. That’s not up for discussion.” There’s an authority in his voice I hardly recognize.
    “I’ll make up an excuse… Tell me your room number, and I’ll come to you.”
    Now he’s the one who’s smiling. Just the thought of it makes him as excited as a little boy. There’s no woman as good at exciting men as Gaëlle.
    “I’m in Room 510, don’t forget it. Five, like the happiest months of my life, the months I’ve known you. One, because I want to be the only man for you, and zero, because that’s the number of seconds I’m prepared to wait.”
    Gaëlle laughs, and the sound echoes in my head like the laughter of witches in fairy stories when you’re a child. I’d like to warn Federico, I’d like to tell him just how pathetic she is, and then kick him in the balls, so I leap forward and grab the doorpost with all the strength left in me, but when I thrust myself outside the toilet, there’s nobody in the washroom. Gaëlle and Federico have vanished.
    Again that feeling that my chest is in a vice, the ever more alarming sensation that I can’t control what’s happening. Time is crushing me like an insect. Maybe I’m the only ant in this crowd, the only one who doesn’t know where he’s going.
    The entrance, where people were crowding in earlier, has suddenly emptied. The lights come on again, the music is over. Once again I refuse to look at my watch.
    “Svevo!”
    Gaëlle’s voice surprises me. She’s behind me.
    “Where have you been?” Federico asks me as he helps her on with her coat. “We’ve been looking for you all evening. We thought you’d left.”
    How different it all seems now, the way they talk to me and look at each other.
    “Where did you get to? Do you think it’s right to behave the way you have?”
    Gaëlle is in an argumentative mood, she’s even more aggressive now than she was at dinner. She takes me aside. “Answer me, don’t stand there like an idiot! Do you know it was Federico who paid the bill? I hope you’ll pay him back. I don’t understand you, you’re a different person tonight. You should take a look in the mirror, you’re behaving like a moron. Not to mention the way you made me look at dinner… I really don’t know what’s going through your head.”
    Her tone is unpleasant, to say the least. I look at her, and for the first time I’m indifferent to her beauty. I’ve never seen her looking so drawn, she doesn’t even seem like the same person any more. She’s a talking, moving shadow, a nasty thought that’s best forgotten. Like the fear of time, of death, and of this night that’s so fast and yet never seems to end.
    I want to go back to the hotel, I don’t care if she sleeps in the room next to mine or goes to bed with my best friend. I only want to get out of this hell. 
    Before getting in the car, I look Federico straight in the eyes. How dare he smile at me? But when I hear him ask me yet again, in that