Amanda's Wedding by Jenny Colgan Read Free Book Online

imaginary cat of Fran’s (I was getting desperate by that stage). Neither of us mentioned the inauspicity of his leaving; it was as if he’d simply been away,perhaps on business, perhaps for a fortnight, perhaps in prison.
    We turned up at home at half past midnight. The flat was ominously quiet, which meant that Linda was wide awake, listening to our every move. However, it was a special occasion, so I pinched her bottle of vodka anyway, called in sick with a midnight vomiting fit (unpleasant but effective), and fell into bed with my big – OK, slightly smelly – darling, who managed to make me buzz all over before passing out for fourteen hours.
    The following day I watched him sleep, and the time just drifted by. Maybe they should put beautiful sleeping males in airport waiting rooms.
    He woke up dazed, stared at the ceiling for a second, then rolled over and grabbed me with a grin.
    â€˜Oh, Mel, darling. I will be yours for ever …’
    This was more like it.
    â€˜â€¦ if you’d make me a bacon sandwich. Two bacon sandwiches. And some fried eggs. I am starving .’
    â€˜That’, he said twenty minutes later, after I’d emptied the fridge of Linda’s food, ‘was the best bacon sandwich I have ever had. Americans just cannot make a bacon sandwich. They put it in brown bread and cover it in crap.’
    â€˜What, like vegetables?’
    â€˜Yeah!’
    â€˜You’re right – bloody Americans and their healthy eating! That’s why they’re all in such fantastic physical shape.’
    He giggled, then took my face in his hands. Here it came.
    â€˜Gee, Mel, it’s good to be back. Americans … they never mean what they say. I never feel I can talk bullshit with anyone as much as I can with you.’
    â€˜I think that’s possibly the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,’ I said gravely.
    He laughed, and ruffled my hair.
    â€˜I mean … I behaved like a complete dork, Mel. I’m sorry. I really am. What I did to you, it really bit. You know, I had no idea what I was doing. With all my parents and stuff … I can find it really hard to open up … and I got scared. I was so worried you were going to … just ignore me. Which I would probably have deserved.’
    â€˜Yes, you would.’
    â€˜You’re special to me, you know.’
    â€˜I do know. And if you ever EVER do anything like that again, I’m going to impale a testicle on each arm of a pair of scissors and start snipping.’
    He winced. ‘Is that nice?’
    â€˜You’ll see.’
    And that was it. I was very happy.
    The next week passed in a blur – a dirty-sheeted, stupid, giggling, New York-time blur. I finally got it together to go into work, but was so glowing and smiley that I got away with more murder than usual. Even the secretaries couldn’t hurt me. No one in theworld had ever been as happy as us, ever, and in fact could have no idea what it was like. I floated around, occasionally stopping to pity people for not being as happy as me.
    At home, I stopped answering the phone and made Linda do it, which was mean of me as she hated doing it and my friends hated speaking to her. Fran eventually stomped round in a fury, having gleaned, accurately, that things weren’t exactly going the way she’d planned. This surmise was confirmed when she came to the door and Alex opened it, clearly in possession of both kneecaps.
    â€˜Hey there, Fran,’ he said winningly. ‘Good to see you again.’
    I wondered what she was going to do. For a moment she looked as if she would completely ignore him, then she shook her mane of hair and smiled.
    â€˜Hello! Great to see you – you complete bastard! How nice!’ she said, walking straight past him to kiss me on the cheek.
    Alex grimaced at me, but I shrugged. Even if I hadn’t been able to give him a hard time for what he’d done, I had no