Average American Male by Chad Kultgen Read Free Book Online Page A

can call Alyna to set up our date. I’ve tried to prepare myself so I don’t sound like a retard on the phone, but when I dial the number she gave me at EB Games and Stevie answers, all my preparation dissolves. I immediately wonder why she gave me her work number instead of her home number.
    I say, “Is Alyna there?”
    Stevie asks, “Who’s calling?”
    “A friend.”
    Surprisingly, Stevie gives me no shit and gets Alyna. When she gets on the phone I want to ask her why she gave me her work number, but I decide not to push the issue. It’s not that relevant.
    She says, “Hey, how’ve you been?”
    I say, “Fine.”
    “So where are you taking me?”
    My call waiting beeps. I don’t want to answer it, but I can’t help myself. I say, “Can you hang on one second?”
    “Okay.”
    I switch over. It’s Casey. She wants me to come over despite the fact that we’ve already decided to not see each other tonight. I’m very quickly faced with the fact that to get her off the line with any expedi-ence, I have to promise to see her tonight. So I do. She says she loves me and I tell her I’ll see her tonight before hanging up on her and switching back over to Alyna.
    I say, “Sorry about that. So what kind of food do you like?”
    “All kinds. Why don’t you surprise me.”
    “Okay.”
    “And you can pick me up at eight-thirty on Friday night. That’s my night off.”
    “Okay.”
    Then she gives me her address.
    “See you then.”
    “Okay. See you then.”
    “Bye.”
    She hangs up before I can return the good-bye.
    That night at Casey’s house, I purposely cum in her mouth while she’s giving me a standard foreplay blow job that should have led to sex. I don’t apologize.

chapter thirteen
    A Call from Casey’s Mom
    A few nights later I’m at Casey’s house. She promised me she was horny and if I got to her house as fast as I could, she’d be waiting for me naked on her bed. We haven’t fucked in a few days and she’s leaving town tomorrow, so I accepted her offer.
    Casey’s lying on her bed, as she promised, but she’s fully clothed and talking to her mom on the phone. Occasionally I can hear Casey say one of the following things: “I don’t know. How am I supposed to know? I guess. No, you’re right. I never thought about it like that. I will.”
    I’m sitting on her couch watching an old episode of Who’s the Boss in which Tony Danza gets pursued by his overly aggressive high school girlfriend who just wants to have a fling for old time’s sake. And although Tony really wants to fuck her, he can’t stop thinking about Angela.
    Who’s the Boss ends and Casey’s still on the phone. I find nothing to eat in her refrigerator, then go to the bathroom to piss.
    When I lift up the toilet lid there’s already piss in the bowl, and I’m reminded that in an effort to conserve water Casey never flushes after she pisses. There’s something slightly unsettling about my piss mixing with her piss. When I flush I hear Casey say, “Only if it’s brown.”
    I ignore her and go back to the living room, where I settle in for an episode of Family Ties in which Michael J. Fox takes amphetamines so he can study for a test without knowing the serious harm he could be doing to himself. It’s just getting to the part that they use in the opening credits where a speed-wired Michael J. Fox slides across the floor in a rolling chair, when Casey steps right in front of the TV.
    I try to look around her, but Michael J. Fox has already rolled across the floor. I missed it.
    I notice she’s not talking on the phone anymore when she says,
    “Sorry. She called right after I called you.”
    “That’s okay.”
    I get up and start kissing her neck as I unzip her pants.
    “Hang on.”
    “What?”
    “I want to talk about something first.”
    “I thought you said you were horny.”
    “I was.”
    “But not now?”
    “I just got off the phone with my mom.”
    “So?”
    “She was asking me if we were ever going