Break Free & Be Broken by Eros Winter Read Free Book Online

stand what I was seeing. Where was the greatness? Where were the pinnacles of human achievement? What happened to passions? To dreams? I wanted to grab each person I saw and shake them until they grew wings. I didn't need to see someone fly so I could grab onto their coattails, I just needed to see someone fly.
    I soon learned that my time spent pursuing excellence had placed a curse upon my head. My standards had been raised to an impossible level, and I was no longer able to bring them back down. I had seen the top of the mountain and experienced a taste of greatness-I knew it was an obtainable thing-and even though I was no longer near the top, I still judged the world and myself from that place. I began to develop a deep disdain for those around me. All that I saw was detestable.
    Weak. Everyone was fucking weak, and they were slaves to that weakness: slaves to desire! There were only whores where there should have been women and only pussies where there should have been men. I scratched my eyes raw as I watched them mush into shit roles, passively letting their lives drain away into a stew of mediocrity... and I, too, was a part of it.
    God, I hated it.
    God damn, I fucking hated it.
    The fact I was involved in the same shit didn't give me a sympathetic eye. At least I was honest about my reasons. I had tried to reach the sun and was burnt to a crisp. I had failed. My strength and motivation were lost. I was doing what I did because I was crushed and defeated, hiding from pain!- doing the only things I could think of to survive. Everyone else was acting like it was still the cool, fun thing to do. I couldn't take the dishonesty.
    'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just how life is.' Oh yeah? According to whom? Who decided that average is an acceptable goal? Show me that fucking person. SHOW THEM TO ME! Let me cave in their skull and show you the blackness that’s within...
    Oh, how I was lost. My time back in the world was short lived. I couldn't handle being so exposed to the basic nature of humanity. I stayed out just long enough to find my heroine. Once in the throes of her embrace, I retreated back to the pit that was my self. I found a bit of comfort there: alone. Sure, it hurt. I hurt every day, but at least I'd found a rhythm I could shuffle my feet to until death.
    I was content in my misery; that is... until She came.
    Why did She have to be so beautiful... HUH!? Why the FUCK did She have to be so beautiful, gentle, and sweet? I had already given up on love when I met Her. I was fine just being alone! I may have been miserable, but it was an ignorant misery-one that I could bear! I knew right away that getting close to Her would only cause trouble. I knew there would be pain. She didn't know of my weakness or the darkness that haunted my mind. She didn't understand the impossible standards to which I held myself and the world. But I knew. I knew the hardships of living with me, and I fucking warned Her. I tried to just be friends!
    Perhaps She didn't believe someone could really live with such vast stores of pain, or maybe She believed She could help me get better... Whatever the reason, She ignored my shouts to beware. Bless Her heart, She ignored me, and opened my eyes to the profound glory of the angel called Love.
    Fucking bitch.
    Why did She have to make me so damn happy? Why did She have to be so fucking great!? She was far, far too good to me. I never deserved to be treated so well, with such kindness: such loving grace! Somehow, She made me believe the world wasn't the pitch black place I’d come to believe it to be. Somehow, She gave me hope. Wrapped in Her arms, blanketed by the warmth of Her love, I foolishly started to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could get better.
    She was everything to me, and once I was convinced She could help me, I opened the floodgates to the deepest reaches of my pain. How could I not in the face of such pure love? I didn't know it would sweep Her away. After all,