smile never faded.
Chapter 4
“Livy, what the fuck? Livy!”
I felt a nudge on my shoulder and groaned. Fuck, my head hurt. I felt wet all over and I didn’t know why. Where the hell was I? What the hell was going on? Was that really Uncle’s voice? I hadn’t seen him in weeks.
“Livy, get up. Fuck, I should have come earlier. Livy, wake up!” He nudged me again and it was only then that I opened my eyes.
Sunlight poured in from the windows, blinding me. I noticed I was on the floor of my living room. What the hell?
As I moved, I got a whiff of vomit. “Shit…” I moaned, almost gagging.
“Livy, get the fuck up or I’m sending you to rehab for the next three months. Get your arse up and get in the shower. I’m cleaning you up.”
With Uncle’s help, I moved into a sitting position and looked up at him. He looked handsome in his white shirt and black trousers. What must he think of me?
He nudged me again. “Livy, get up. I won’t tell you again.”
I slapped his hand away. “Okay, okay. I’m getting up, for fuck’s sake.” I heard Uncle’s sharp intake of breath. Even I was a little taken aback by my outburst, but a big part of me didn’t care.
“Livy, I know you’re probably not feeling well, but there’s no need to take it out on–”
“You’ve not been here!” I interrupted. “Why the fuck should you care now?” I groaned again as my head pounded.
Uncle sighed. “I’m sorry, Livy. I was just so angry with you for what you did, but I should have been here. I’m here now...and we’ve got to get you to the shower. You smell like shit.”
He pulled me up and practically carried me to the bathroom. I clung onto him because he was my only vice. The only person who was offering me comfort.
Uncle placed me in the bath and turned the water on. Once he knew it was warm, he pulled the lever for the shower. I gasped as the water hit my face and ran down my clothed, vomit-soaked body. Right then, I felt pathetic. I felt like the biggest fucking loser on earth.
Endless tears slid down my face as a gut-wrenching sob left my lips. How did I get to this? How did I let myself sink so low? This wasn’t me.
“Oh, Livy, come here.” He stepped into the bath with me.
“But your clothes…,” I protested.
“They’re just clothes, Livy.”
He held me under the water and let me sob into his shoulder. As I calmed, Uncle pushed me away and tenderly stroked my cheek. “How are we going to get you better? What is it you want? I will give you anything you desire as long as you get yourself out of this fucking mess. You’re trying to kill yourself, but I’m never going to let that happen. Tell me. What can I do?”
I sighed, already knowing my answer. I had him in my head constantly. He was in my nightmares and my every waking thought. The man who took everything from me.
I looked up into Uncle’s eyes and could see him awaiting my answer. “I need you now,” I whispered. “I need your help. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” He smiled and nodded, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. He had obviously been waiting for this moment.
“What can I do to help you? What is it you want?”
I sighed as the tears fell. “I want justice, Uncle. I want to find the shadowman who tried to kill my family. When I do, I’m going to kill him.”
The very next morning, I got up with a spring in my step. I was hoping Kit would be around today. I felt a little dizzy from the prospect of it and couldn’t help but scold myself for being so adolescent. I mean, I had dated before, but none of them made me feel this light-headed, giddy feeling. We weren’t even dating, and I knew we never would. I still couldn’t help the way I felt.
Grabbing all my things, I opened my front door and stopped. Sitting on my doorstep was a hot, fresh cup of coffee, and what looked like a Danish pastry. I gasped. Upon inspection, I saw that the coffee was black, just how I liked it, and the pastry