on that Last Unicorn remake poster.
FACE.PSD: [waves dismissively]
HORN.PSD: Thanks, that’s why my agent thought this was a great pickup gig. But I’m excited about the part. I mean, a horned flying kitten? I’ve been really working hard creating the horn and the history and back-story around it.
SWEATER.PSD: [bored] Sure kid.
HORN.PSD: [Crestfallen, but spots the refreshments table]: Snacks!
FACE.PSD: [snorts] It’s all CGA . Big squares of yellow and cyan. Fucking cyan. You can always tell a cheap outfit when the refreshments are cyan.
[HORN.PSD shrugs and goes to the table. FACE.PSD notices CROTCH.PSD and walks over to him]
FACE.PSD: [sensing competition] These auditions are crazy aren’t they?
CROTCH.PSD: [nervously] Well truth be told this is my first normal one. What part are you going for?
FACE.PSD: [boldly] The face of clown sweater guy.
CROTCH.PSD: [shocked] Really? Won’t they just go with a stock image for him?
FACE.PSD: [relieved that obviously CROTCH.PSD is not competition, but also slightly offended] Oh I’m pretty sure I can make them rethink that choice.
CROTCH.PSD: But it would be his actual face. How will you compete with—
FACE.PSD [Interrupts indignantly]: Do you have any idea who you are talking to? All those wrinkle-free faces of older actresses on movie posters, you think that was stock? DO YOU? What have you done compared to that?
CROTCH.PSD: Actually I’ve done mostly uh…exotic…uh adult sort of…
FACE.PSD: [maliciously amused, loudly] You’re in porn?
[HORN.PSD snaps his fingers and turns from the refreshments]
HORN.PSD: [to CROTCH.PSD] I thought you looked familiar!
[HORN.PSD immediately looks chagrined as ALL stop what they are doing and look at him]
SWEATER.PSD: What are you trying out for here?
CROTCH.PSD: Well, the orc crotch actually. It’s still where my skills lie, but this will be a chance for me to break into legitimate image work.
FACE.PSD: And you don’t think your storied career stimulating 13 year olds will hamper you here?
CROTCH.PSD: Well no actually, most of the stuff I did was really weird Japanese stuff. Not a lot of people saw it. Real niche stuff, you know, hentai and beast monsters and schoolgirls.
[ALL look at HORN.PSD again… Not knowing what to do, HORN.PSD stares back blankly]
HORN.PSD: So, Mr. Sweater.psd you’re obviously going for the part of the clown sweater. What do you think it’s motivations are for being so…
[HORN.PSD realizes he’s trying to talk shop with a hero of his and locks up for a second]
HORN.PSD: …Sweatery.
SWEATER.PSD: [annoyed] Kid you want some advice? You’re taking the part too seriously. I think you’re a little green for the horn part. You should get some more experience under your belt. This thing’s going to get a lot of eyes, it’s for an important charity.
[HORN.PSD is shocked that he just got dissed by a hero of his, then angry. ALL besides HORN.PSD and SWEATER.PSD suddenly pretend to be deeply engaged in not being a part of the argument]
HORN.PSD: [angry in a way only a young successful person whose talent has just been questioned can be] Oh I need more experience? I’m not taking it seriously? What about you? I used to look up to you. Now all you do is lens flare to emote anger. It’s your go-to trick. All your characters are the same now!
SWEATER.PSD: [angry in a way that only an older successful person whose talent has just been questioned can be] That’s not true!
HORN.PSD: It is true, it’s like you’re not even challenged anymore!
SWEATER.PSD: Be quiet!
HORN.PSD: Look at me, I’m an angry wall texture!
[HORN.PSD applies lens flare]
SWEATER.PSD: Stop it.
HORN.PSD: Look at me I’m an angry star field!
[HORN.PSD applies lens flare]
SWEATER.PSD: Stop
FACE.PSD: [waves dismissively]
HORN.PSD: Thanks, that’s why my agent thought this was a great pickup gig. But I’m excited about the part. I mean, a horned flying kitten? I’ve been really working hard creating the horn and the history and back-story around it.
SWEATER.PSD: [bored] Sure kid.
HORN.PSD: [Crestfallen, but spots the refreshments table]: Snacks!
FACE.PSD: [snorts] It’s all CGA . Big squares of yellow and cyan. Fucking cyan. You can always tell a cheap outfit when the refreshments are cyan.
[HORN.PSD shrugs and goes to the table. FACE.PSD notices CROTCH.PSD and walks over to him]
FACE.PSD: [sensing competition] These auditions are crazy aren’t they?
CROTCH.PSD: [nervously] Well truth be told this is my first normal one. What part are you going for?
FACE.PSD: [boldly] The face of clown sweater guy.
CROTCH.PSD: [shocked] Really? Won’t they just go with a stock image for him?
FACE.PSD: [relieved that obviously CROTCH.PSD is not competition, but also slightly offended] Oh I’m pretty sure I can make them rethink that choice.
CROTCH.PSD: But it would be his actual face. How will you compete with—
FACE.PSD [Interrupts indignantly]: Do you have any idea who you are talking to? All those wrinkle-free faces of older actresses on movie posters, you think that was stock? DO YOU? What have you done compared to that?
CROTCH.PSD: Actually I’ve done mostly uh…exotic…uh adult sort of…
FACE.PSD: [maliciously amused, loudly] You’re in porn?
[HORN.PSD snaps his fingers and turns from the refreshments]
HORN.PSD: [to CROTCH.PSD] I thought you looked familiar!
[HORN.PSD immediately looks chagrined as ALL stop what they are doing and look at him]
SWEATER.PSD: What are you trying out for here?
CROTCH.PSD: Well, the orc crotch actually. It’s still where my skills lie, but this will be a chance for me to break into legitimate image work.
FACE.PSD: And you don’t think your storied career stimulating 13 year olds will hamper you here?
CROTCH.PSD: Well no actually, most of the stuff I did was really weird Japanese stuff. Not a lot of people saw it. Real niche stuff, you know, hentai and beast monsters and schoolgirls.
[ALL look at HORN.PSD again… Not knowing what to do, HORN.PSD stares back blankly]
HORN.PSD: So, Mr. Sweater.psd you’re obviously going for the part of the clown sweater. What do you think it’s motivations are for being so…
[HORN.PSD realizes he’s trying to talk shop with a hero of his and locks up for a second]
HORN.PSD: …Sweatery.
SWEATER.PSD: [annoyed] Kid you want some advice? You’re taking the part too seriously. I think you’re a little green for the horn part. You should get some more experience under your belt. This thing’s going to get a lot of eyes, it’s for an important charity.
[HORN.PSD is shocked that he just got dissed by a hero of his, then angry. ALL besides HORN.PSD and SWEATER.PSD suddenly pretend to be deeply engaged in not being a part of the argument]
HORN.PSD: [angry in a way only a young successful person whose talent has just been questioned can be] Oh I need more experience? I’m not taking it seriously? What about you? I used to look up to you. Now all you do is lens flare to emote anger. It’s your go-to trick. All your characters are the same now!
SWEATER.PSD: [angry in a way that only an older successful person whose talent has just been questioned can be] That’s not true!
HORN.PSD: It is true, it’s like you’re not even challenged anymore!
SWEATER.PSD: Be quiet!
HORN.PSD: Look at me, I’m an angry wall texture!
[HORN.PSD applies lens flare]
SWEATER.PSD: Stop it.
HORN.PSD: Look at me I’m an angry star field!
[HORN.PSD applies lens flare]
SWEATER.PSD: Stop
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