Con Law by Mark Gimenez Read Free Book Online

too ‘Wall Street’ during this Great Recession when the law school was increasing tuition on its middle-class students by double digits, but because they wanted in on the action. The controversy reached the university president, and worse, the Austin newspaper and the legal blogosphere, which proved an embarrassment to the administration; the president then fired the assistant dean. He couldn’t fire the dean who doled out the money because the Longhorn football coach and the law school dean—a legendary law professor at UT who had taught most of the senior partners at the major Texas law firms and who was now a legendary accumulator of donations and endowments from those law firms—ran the only two profit centers on the UT campus. But someone had to be fired.
    ‘I want more money!’
    Professor Sheila Manfried (Yale, 1990, Feminist Legal Theory and Gender Crimes) was addressing the faculty. She waved a thick document in the air.
    ‘I have the faculty compensation numbers. I knew I was getting screwed, and this proves it. I can’t believe how many male professors are making more money than me. I want a salary increase, and I want one of those forgivable loans. I’ve been on this faculty for eighteen years. I’ve been tenured for twelve. I publish more articles than the rest of you combined. My law review articles have been published in the
Yale Law Review
, the
Harvard Law Review
, the
Michigan Law Review
…’
    She pointed at male professors (who referred to her as ‘Professor Mankiller’ behind her back) in succession as if identifying guilty defendants in court.
    ‘… But you’re making more than me? And you? And you? You guys haven’t published anything in years.’
    Professor Herbert Johnson (UT, 1974, Contracts), one of those guys, offered the male rebuttal.
    ‘Well,Sheila, when I did publish something, it was useful, not your feminist crap. What’s your latest article? “The Tort of Wrongful Seduction.” You want men to be liable for damages if they really didn’t mean it when they said, “I love you.” How stupid is that?’
    Professor Manfried glared at him then jabbed a long finger in the air as if to stab him.
    ‘That’s it, Herb. I’m putting you on my witness list.’
    Professor Manfried had sued the university for gender discrimination over her compensation. She made $275,000.
    ‘Liberals fighting over money like Republicans,’ Henry said.
    ‘The desire for money transcends politics.’
    ‘But tenure doesn’t.’ Henry shook his head. ‘I was ROTC at A&M, served in the army for four years, graduated top of my class at this law school, worked to pay off my student loans … but I’m an outcast here because I worked for an oil company.’
    ‘And voted Republican,’ Book whispered.
    ‘Shh! They don’t know.’
    Book could count the number of professors who might have voted Republican on his fingers and toes, and he didn’t need to take his boots off. Of course, it was mere speculation; one did not speak publicly about such things inside an American law school, not if one wanted tenure or a salary hike. Law school faculties leaned hard to the left, which was to be expected at Harvard and Yale, but at Texas? That fact—that Ivy League-educated liberals who disdained all things Texan (except their University of Texas paychecks) and whose fondest dream was to be called home to Harvard and Yale were teaching the sons and daughters of conservative UT alumni—had always amused him. If only those conservatives knew that their beloved university had a faculty only slightly to the left of the ruling party in Havana.
    ‘I propose a faculty resolution demanding that the new assistant dean bea woman,’ Professor Manfried said. ‘Better yet, a lesbian.’
    ‘They’re bringing in an outsider,’ Professor Goldman said. ‘A heterosexual male.’
    ‘How do you know?’
    ‘He’s married with two children.’
    ‘That they hired a man?’
    ‘I have my sources in Admin. I hear that