Dead Vampires Don't Date by Meredith Allen Conner Read Free Book Online

The squawks of outrage that accompanied this move so thrilled me, I kissed Tiny on his cheek as I headed in.
    I wondered which one would get lucky tonight. From what I heard Tiny was totally inappropriately named. All over.
    And gargoyles are known for their abilities to keep their girlfriends absolutely delirious despite the turning-to-stone during day thing.
    I preferred a man to be around all the time, myself.
    Strange that I would have those thoughts when I am completely off men. And were my eyes searching for large, hunky shapes in the poor lighting?
    Crap.
    I had enough to deal with right now. Dead bodies, big lies and love matches for Barbie are not little issues. I did not need to add a desire for someone big and be-horned as well.
    Especially since I knew that could only end in misery and I was also fairly confident that he didn't just want me for my pretty face.
    Maybe I needed to stop by that adult store down the street from my agency? My hormones were acting up again.
    I maneuvered my way past the throng at the bar, spotted a vacant table close to the dance floor and the small stage and headed over. I waved cheerfully at Lolly as I pulled out the chair. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his finger at me warningly.
    Jeez, you'd think he'd never had a fight in his bar before. Besides I heard that his business picked up after word got out about the whipped cream, chocolate sauce and champagne drenched t-shirts.
    Never pick an HC bar to hold your human bridal shower I always say.
    Well, I say that now.
    I batted my eyes back at him. Lolly shook his head, but grinned. Morgan and I had paid for all the damages.
    I caught Teri's attention. She's an immortal witch. I should just hate her on principal. She got to be part of the in-crowd, while I always had my hands pressed to the window looking in.
    However, she's also one of the nicest witches I know. She's never held my mortality against me and she's Lolly's wife. I matched them before I opened my agency.
    Teri smiled and held up two fingers with her brows raised. I shook my head and wiggled one finger. Occasionally, I meet other non-vamp friends here too.
    The sound of a bass guitar turned me towards the stage. The band was starting to set up. They looked as cute as they had on their poster.
    Lolly mixed up the bands between humans and the Non. His staff are all humanly-challenged, however. I could see his point. Some hinky things have happened at Got Fangs? .
    An open bottle of beer with ice-cold condensation on the neck plopped down in front of me. I reached for my wallet. "No charge tonight," Teri's blue and green eyes smiled at me. Not blue-green, but one blue and one green.
    I grinned back. "Really?" I casually scoped around for Lolly. He'd have a fit.
    "Yep." Teri leaned down. "Lolly's in the back and I never did get a chance to thank you for all that business."
    So the rumors had been true.
    "Always happy to do my part." I lifted my bottle in toast.
    Teri laughed out loud. "I know you are. Although you may want to wait another few months for the next time you and Morgan help out." She checked the other tables around us then whispered, "Lolly poured whipped cream mixed beer for almost a week." Teri laughed again.
    She could. She'd had her hands on the chocolate sauce that night. Morgan and I had the whipped cream canisters.
    I winced. No wonder Lolly had been so pissed. Still, I would have thought a warlock could solve a problem like that in no time.
    Teri must have read my mind. "Turns out magic and Nitrous Oxide don't mix well together."
    Well, that little tidbit had been left out of the Witches Manual. I couldn't recall using any magic myself that night.
    Just lots and lots of whipped cream.
    "Good to know." I nodded at Teri. Not every immortal witch would pass along information like that to me. In fact, I couldn't think of any other witch that would.
    Teri winked and left. Lolly stood behind the bar watching us. He said something to her as soon as Teri stopped