Female Ejaculation by Somraj Pokras Read Free Book Online Page B

Questions” and “Check-Ins” are for the giver to stimulate communication when needed.
1. RESPONSIVENESS
    The more lovers integrate orgasmic breathing into all aspects of their loveplay, the less verbal communication is needed. Moving, belly breathing, and sounding are a language all their own that requires few, if any, words. We call a passionate lover who shows their turn-ons “responsive.” The opposite would be cold or even frigid. We wonder how many lovers have been labeled frigid when they were simply too “polite” to show their intense excitement!
    So, don’t hold back. Show how turned on you feel. It’s exciting to let it out, and it also excites your lover. Responsiveness creates a non-verbal feedback cycle that can take you both higher and higher, and sensitive lovers who plug into your visible and auditory cues can respond to what the receiver needs and wants in the moment with little need to talk.
2. FEEDBACK SANDWICH
    As you’re learning orgasmic breathing, connecting with a new lover, and getting to know what your partner really wants, some talking is essential. How can you make it constructive and get what you want? Criticizing or even seeming like you’re critical will be counterproductive.
    For example, you may want your lover to slow down at times and speed up at others. You already know not to say “wrong — too fast” and “slow down, dummy.” But if your only comments direct your lover to
change speed, it’s easy for them to assume that nothing they’re doing feels good to you.
    The Feedback Sandwich is a simple three-step process a receiver can use to constructively redirect what a lover is doing while it’s happening.
    A COMPLIMENT: A positive comment about what’s going on.
    B CHANGE: A request to try something different.
    C ACKNOWLEDGMENT: Appreciation for how it feels better.
    The Feedback Sandwich balances appreciation with coaching. In this case, it would sound something like the following:
    A COMPLIMENT: “Your touch is so exciting. That feels really great.”
    B CHANGE: “I wonder how it would feel if it was a little slower.” Then, as soon as the touch slows down…
    C ACKNOWLEDGMENT: “Oh, yes, that’s just what I mean. That feels soooo good!”
3. CHECK-INS
    When you’re making love, you’re a team, not a mind-reader. Just as the Feedback Sandwich is the responsibility of a receiver wanting a change, it’s the responsibility of the giver of pleasure to inquire from time to time about the receiver’s experience. We call this Checking-In.
    Any major change in speed, position, or direction is a great spot to check-in with your beloved, i.e. “May I get between your legs so I can go faster?”
    Before you enter a vagina with fingers or penis, ask, “Is your vagina ready to be visited?”
    If a penis starts losing hardness, ask, “Would your penis prefer something different?”
    If your lover’s sounds, breathing, or motions suddenly change, ask, “Did something happen?”
    These questions prompt the receiver to look inside and keep you informed about what’s happening. Check-ins at appropriate times increase a giver’s confidence in their ability to give pleasure. They increase a receiver’s confidence in getting the pleasure desired.

4. YES/NO QUESTIONS
    Check-ins are a great way for givers to ask for guidance. Yet, too much communication can bring a receiver who’s relishing the sensations in their body squarely into their head, which can lose the mood.
    Using yes/no questions solves this dilemma. This is the perfect response for a giver who is unsure about something or needs guidance. You can simply ask a direct question that can be answered with a yes or no or a shake of the head. This requires minimal thought process by the receiver and is much less likely to interfere with pleasure.
    A series of yes/no questions can provide all the guidance a giver needs:
    “Faster?” “Ah-ha.”
    “More?” “Mmmmm.”
    “Slower?” “A bit.”
    “All