Fiendish Schemes by K. W. Jeter Read Free Book Online

seemed outwardly sensible and logical. “And are there other duties involved in this ministry that you and friends have undertaken? Does the head of the order, when not preaching to these whales, also hear their confessions and forgive them their sins?”
    “That is a theological point that has not yet been established.” Stonebrake continued displaying his surface rationality. “We are a relatively new order, and as such, we do not have the lengthy history of disquisition that the ancient branches of the faith so obviously have. Thus, there are some matters on which we have disagreement with other Christians—”
    “You could say that. I’m not aware of many Anglican priests, say, having lengthy discussions with fish.”
    “Mammals, sir; whales are mammals. And that is where the ontological debate begins. Convinced of these creatures’ intelligence—and they are cunning beasts, I may assure you; very admirable in that respect—we are not yet sure if the species were participants in that antediluvian fall from grace that gave rise to Man’s condition of original sin.”
    “Right.” I gave a nod. “I would expect that whales have a more favourable opinion of the great Flood mentioned in the Bible, than we do.”
    “They might,” judged Stonebrake. “Be that as it may, the question remains: If whales are not of the same sinful nature as Man, does the sacrament of forgiveness of sins have any application to them? Myself, I could go either way. The Mission as a whole is still pondering the matter.”
    “I’ve heard enough.” I dug under the pillow for my father’s clockwork pistol, having formed the intent to employ it immediately, rather than waiting for my guest’s departure. Whatever distress he might experience upon the sight of my blowing my brains out, such was of limited concern to me at this point. “I hope you’ll excuse me while I attend to some personal business, long delayed—”
    The pistol’s whirring and ticking sounds had been muted by the pillow, but were now clearly audible as I raised it to my head, a finger crooked upon its trigger. A blow struck me, but to my chest, knocking the wind from my lungs. Dazed, I found myself sprawled upon the room’s floor, one of Stonebrake’s hands at my throat, the other prying the pistol device from my grip.
    “You fool!” All affability had disappeared from the other man’s expression. Stonebrake’s face darkened with fury, eyes narrowed to slits as he glared into mine. “Do you believe I came all this way to discuss maritime theology with you?” He glanced for a split second at the pistol he had wrested from me, then tossed it aside. Rising to his feet, he hauled me upright with him. “Do you really think that whales are so important?”
    “You were . . .” I gasped for breath, his fist hard at my throat. “The one who . . . brought them up—”
    “Desist!” His other hand struck me across the face, hard enough to send me flying onto the bed, which collapsed beneath me. “You and I have other business to attend to—”
    “Wuttin blazes garn thar?”
    Both Stonebrake and I looked over at the door, which had flown open to reveal the innkeeper, clad in a flannel nightshirt. Our voices had no doubt roused him from his slumbers, his concern heightened by the audible eruption of violence.
    I could see the room’s chaos reflected in the man’s eyes. The broken timbers of the bed frame were scattered about, with myself prostrate on the mattress, Stonebrake’s knee pressed against my chest, his fist raised above my bloodied head.
    “This man—”
    The landlord was not interested in hearing me out, or in coming to my aid. He remained unflustered, having assessed the details before him. Such scenes apparently occurred on a frequent and casual basis in these lodgings.
    “Thar’ll be charge far thet,” he said, nodding toward the bed’s splintered debris as he retreated, pulling the door shut once again.
    Though not alleviated, my