Heaven Is Paved with Oreos by Catherine Gilbert Murdock Read Free Book Online

the malaria bad-air business, but it didn’t seem like the right time.
    â€œI don’t like what we do,” he said finally.
    â€œWhat do you mean? Boris? Chess? Ice cream?”
    â€œI don’t like having a fake girlfriend.”
    â€œOh.” I did not know what else to say.
What about our Brilliant Outflanking Strategy?
    Curtis stared at the ground. “I want a real girlfriend.” He would not even look at me.
    â€œOh,” I said again. “Emily.”
    There was a long silence. “Emily doesn’t lie to people. I like that.”
    We sat there for a long time not saying anything. I no longer had any interest in my vanilla.
    â€œWe’re not lying,” I said finally; “we’re outflanking. What’s wrong with that?”
    â€œEverything,” Curtis said. “And if you don’t see that, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this anymore. This whole . . . thing.”
    I was shocked. “But what about Boris?”
    Curtis shook his head. “I don’t feel much like Boris at the moment.”
    I thought about pointing out that this was good because Boris is dead. But it would be a terrible joke. Also at that moment I felt exactly like Boris. Except Boris never had to break up with someone. And Boris never had to go to high school.
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Tuesday, July 9
    I am all packed. Tomorrow we go to Minneapolis, then Chicago, then Rome.
    I told Z about breaking up with Curtis. I couldn’t help it. That was how I phrased it too: “We broke up.” Not
We stopped fake-going-out with our Brilliant Outflanking Strategy.
    Z sighed and said she wasn’t surprised. “Sometimes there’s just not a spark.”
    I tried to agree with her, but I may have been crying. Even fake relationships can hurt, no matter how much sparking there might not be.
    â€œListen, darling,” she said. “Forget about boys. Tomorrow we begin an enormous adventure. We are going to the Eternal City! We’re going to be two girls on the town!”
    â€œJust like Miss Hesselgrave and her companion,” I said. Trying to cheer myself up.
    â€œWell, yes . . . But I will not wear a corset. Do you hear me?”
    That made me smile, the image of Z with a corset.
    â€œWe are pilgrims—pilgrims of adventure! We are adventurers to the great beyond!”
    Z is exactly right. I have the rest of my life for men—I don’t need them gumming things up now. I will go to Rome. I will show Curtis I don’t need a fake boyfriend to have a real life.

 
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Wednesday, July 10
    Z and I are on the plane to Chicago! We have an exceedingly tight connection to the plane to Rome—we may have to run!
    Did you notice that I’m writing in a new journal? I don’t think Z would find the cover of this journal quite as “glorious.” But the old journal was already half-filled, and I did not want to run out of space, especially on my first
real
adventure. Also I do not want to carry around memories of Curtis. I can remember him without a book. I don’t want to remember these last few weeks anyway. I have put that journal away so that someday I can read it again. Someday that is not anytime close to today.
    Mom and Paul drove Z and me to the airport. Mom cried when we said goodbye, but I didn’t. Paul waved, but I do not believe he will even notice I’m gone. He will only notice when he has to ride alone with D.J. Even then I think he will still be on Planet Paul.
    Curtis did not wave because he was not there. Obviously. He did not say goodbye. I had not meant to point all this out, but I cannot help it. I do not think saying goodbye is what an ex–fake boyfriend is expected to do, but I think a real friend-friend is.
    We are about to land. I have to put this away before the flight attendant says something to me.
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Wednesday, July 10—LATER
    We didn’t miss our flight to Rome! I