depression even worse so I told her what happened. She said she wouldn’t tell anybody but she was pissed because she liked him. After I went back to the juvenile home she told everybody.
My mom found out about a year later. I was back home, again on Mother’s Day and again she was bitching me out for something and offhandedly stated, "At least all my kids are still virgins." I shouted, "Fuck you. I’m not a virgin." I told her what happened and how it happened on the last Mother’s Day and how it was her fault, "There’s your fucking Mother’s Day gift, you stupid bitch." She called me a whore. I shouldn’t have gone there but she set me off with those things she said about her darling kids being virgins. We don’t go at it like that anymore but we’re still not close.
I wished I would have done it some other way. I wanted to stay a virgin until I was married and get married in a Mormon temple. It killed me that I would miss out on that. I started drinking and since I already did it once, I lost my self-respect and became a hoochie mama there for awhile. It ruined me for a good year or two but I’ve matured since then and realized that some people just suck.
The way I lost my virginity affected my sex life for years and years after that. I strongly believe that, especially for women, sex is definitely more mental and emotional. If you have a bad experience, you really can’t enjoy sex. It took a whole five years after my first time until I was able to have any pleasure from sex whatsoever.
I was dating this guy, we were sexually active for 10 months and I only got off once that whole 10 months. They say good sex makes up only 20% of a relationship but bad sex takes up 70% of it and that’s one of the main reasons I broke up with the guy. It’s like my first time ruined me and I was emotionally scarred from it. I just stopped having sex altogether until finally I fell in love and then boom – sex was awesome.
If I ever have a daughter, she’s going to be the first to know that it needs to be something special or he should at least be important to you or it can scar you. You live and learn and every experience gives you more strength. And you never know, if I hadn’t gone through that experience I might not be where I am now, so I wouldn’t necessarily change it if I could… but I might.
UNCLE KNOWS BEST
Corey, 34
I was cruising down the back roads of Michigan on my Honda Spree. I’m minding my own business then I see this girl in a Bon Jovi, stone-washed jean jacket with the fringe, walking along the side of the road. I was 15, this probably would have been in 1988.
I whip up next to her like I’m on a Harley or something instead of my little scooter, and I say, "Hey. What’s going on?" She’s like, "Going to the store to get some smokes." So I’m like, "Sweet. Want a ride?" like hop on my fucking tiny Honda Spree. It was the first time I rode with someone else on that scooter and it could barely take off. It was bogged down so I had to run along side it to get it moving.
Finally I get the thing going fast enough so we won’t tip over. We’re going down maybe a mile and she starts feeling my stomach. Then she reaches around and grabs my package, I’m like, "Whoa." "Pull over," she says. In Michigan there’s a lot of like two-tracks where you can just peel off into the woods. We find someplace secluded and start kissing.
We lay down in the dirty, sticky pine needles. I get on top of her and she takes just one of her legs out of her Palmettos, not even Guess jeans, but like the cheap Palmettos. At this point in my life I had not even jacked off. This was it, this was the very first. We’re doing it and it was the weirdest thing, my leg cramped up and my body seized and all this stuff came out of my penis and got all over the place. It felt really good but I was alarmed by it.
We got dressed and I drove her to the gas station and I didn’t even get her name. She got cigarettes and I filled my tank