I Love You, Always by Natalie Ward Read Free Book Online Page B

okay.”
    I clear my throat, knowing none of this is her fault. “Yeah.”
    “Are you alright?”
    I nod, not wanting to speak, especially when it’s a complete and utter lie.
    “Really?”
    “I just need to see her,” I finally admit, knowing this is what I need more than anything, to see her, hold her, maybe even kiss her. I just need to be close to her. “I just want to see her.”
    Mia pulls me in for another hug. “Go. Go be with her and we’ll come back later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
    “Thank you, Mia.”
    She smiles at me and it’s full of both sympathy and understanding. “Anytime, Luke, you know that.”
    I quickly nod and mumble my thanks to everyone before turning and following the nurse. She leads me down the corridor and just before we turn the corner, I look back at them. They are all standing there together, watching me.
    Pete and Steve.
    Ben and Sarah.
    Mia and Jared.
    I need to get her back. I need her.
    We walk in silence and I take the opportunity to wipe my face, trying to get rid of any tears before Ash sees them. I need to be okay for her. At the end of another long corridor I’m led into a darkened room. Ash is lying in a bed, her eyes still closed. A monitor is steadily beeping next to her and I follow the wires that are connected to her finger and somewhere else, inside her gown. A tube runs under her nose and if it weren’t for that, she’d just look like she was sleeping.
    I turn to the nurse. “She’s still asleep?” I whisper.
    She smiles at me, patting me on the arm as she says, “She’s going to be a little groggy for a while. She’s coming around. Just give her time, she’ll wake up.”
    I nod as I step further into the room, quietly moving a chair alongside her bed. Her right hand is lying against the sheet, empty again, and I take it in both of mine as I sit down. It feels warmer now and when I brush my thumb over her wrist, I can feel the steady beat of her heart underneath it. It’s strong, constant and just feeling it lifts some more of that weight from my chest.
    You came back to me, Asha.
    I lift her hand to my lips and press a gentle kiss to her palm, resting my elbows on the bed, and holding her hand in mine. And then I sit and wait. Wait for her to wake up.

    My head is resting on something soft , it must be my pillow . Ash’s hand is in mine. I don’t remember falling sleep, but it must be morning because she is squeezing my hand. I open my eyes and wake up, not to the morning, not to being in bed with Ash, but to my worst fucking nightmare instead. The memories come at me hard and fast, punching me in the gut with each remembered moment.
    Asha stepping in front of me and getting shot .
    Blood everywhere as she collapsed in my arms.
    Her heart stopping.
    Surgery and her being taken away from me.
    It makes me feel sick. It makes my chest ache with each remembered nightmare. But then I see that her eyes are open and she is smiling at me. Smiling at me like she always does when she first wakes up, even though we aren’t at home and we aren’t in bed and everything is far from okay. My eyes fill with tears at the nightmare of everything that happened last night and without even thinking, I stand up and wrap my arms around her, so fucking glad she came back to me.
    “Asha, oh God, Asha, I love you, I love you so much.” They are my words and my voice but I have no control over what I’m saying right now.
    I’m crying, I can feel tears on my face and on hers. I don’t care, because she is back, she is back with me. I feel her hand as she holds it against my cheek and when I pull back she is still smiling at me, tears on her cheeks that could belong to me, to her, or to both of us.
    “Hey,” she whispers, her voice hoarse.
    I smile now. “Hey, beautiful.” And then I lean in and kiss her. Finally.
    I need to be closer to her. Our lips are still touching as I kick off my shoes and pull myself up on to her bed. She smiles at me as she