In the Distance There Is Light by Harper Bliss Read Free Book Online

treated,’ he said, ‘and I’ll never be able to take back the things I said to her.’”
    “He was completely heart-broken when she died. She’d been sick for such a long time. She’d had two relapses. Whereas I could feel at least some relief for her, that she wouldn’t be in constant pain anymore, Ian didn’t see it that way. He always asked for more opinions, tried to find other doctors who treated cancer patients with experimental drugs. He couldn’t let her go, which I understand, but, in the end, that’s all she wanted. She was ready for it. As prepared as she could be. She’d had ample time to say all her goodbyes. This… thing with Ian is so different. So out of the blue. There’s just no comfort to be found in any of it. It doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. He promised Angela that he would do great things. She asked me, just before she died, when it was just the two of us in the room, to take care of our boy, and now he’s dead.” A tear drops from Dolores’ eyelash into her bourbon. “We need another round of these.” She knocks back her drink and bangs the glass hard onto the counter, getting the bartender’s attention and raising two fingers to him.
    I finish my own by taking a few sips and, with every drop I swallow, the burning sensation in my throat lessens.
    The bartender is quick with the drinks and just as he plants the new round in front of us, my phone beeps in my bag. I’ve had it on silent on and off for weeks, the constant pinging driving me near-crazy, because every last one of the messages, no matter how nice in intention, is a reminder of the dreadful thing that has happened. I ignore it and reach for my drink.
    “You’re not going to see who that is?” Dolores asks.
    I shrug. “It’s just a message.” The only message I want to get is one telling me there’s been a terrible mix-up and Ian is somehow still alive.
    “You never know. It could be important.”
    I purse my lips together and nod, staring at Dolores.
    “It’s true,” she says. Maybe she nurses the same vain hope as I do.
    “You’re just like Ian. He was always on his phone, couldn’t let a message or email go unanswered for a single minute.”
    “Nu-uh. That drove me crazy about him. We’d be having a conversation and his phone would light up and he’d be all over it in a split second. I scolded him for that, told him it was very rude to not give his mother his full attention when we were together. That’s why it struck me that you’re ignoring your phone. It’s not of your generation to do so.” She pulls her lips into a small smile.
    “Now see what you made me do.” I reach in my bag for my phone, playing along. “Don’t you dare start complaining when I don’t give you my full attention for the next five minutes.”
    Dolores laughs and the sound of it loosens something in my belly. It feels so good to have a silly little chuckle. Then I read the message on my phone and expel a deep sigh.
    “What is it?” Dolores asks.
    “Nothing. Just my mother.” I put my phone away, unwilling to deal with my mother right now.
    “ Just your mother?” Dolores has already downed her second whiskey.
    “Yes, just my mother,” I repeat, then focus my attention on my drink.
    “You don’t have a good relationship with her?” she insists.
    “That’s one way of putting it.”
    “How would you put it?” she asks, while signaling the bartender for another round.
    “I’m sorry, Dolores, but you’re not someone I can discuss my mother with.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because you’re Ian’s mother and, I don’t know, I don’t think you would get it. You and Ian had this great relationship, but children having amazing, supportive, understanding relationships with their parents isn’t always a given. If anything, Ian was so lucky to have you and Angela for his parents. Let’s just say I didn’t have the same luck.”  
    “I happen to be a firm believer in the fact that all parents screw up