Jeeves and the Wedding Bells by Sebastian Faulks Read Free Book Online Page A

the worthy case of P. Beeching, barrister-at-law.

WHATEVER COURSE DINNER might be taking at Melbury Hall – and the possibilities made the head spin a bit – I felt it important to keep my own strength up for what lay ahead, so soon after eight I sallied out in search of sustenance. The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of low-browed sons of toil who looked as though they might be related to one another in ways frowned on by the Old Testament. The Hare and Hounds, a hundred yards further up the road, at least had a saloon where the traveller could feel he wasn’t dropping in on some Saxon blood feud. I was soon settled into a window seat with a pint of local ale and plateful of hot steak and kidney p. The Mystery of the Gabled House helped beguile the hour, and it was a contented B. Wooster who ambled back to Seaview Cottage inhaling the whiff of hawthorn from the hedgerows.
    Night had fallen some time since and I had got as far as thediscovery of the second corpse in Chapter Five when I heard the rumble of the two-seater pulling up outside. I was already at the front door by the time Jeeves had extricated himself and turned off the headlights.
    ‘Well, Jeeves? I’m all ears.’
    ‘I trust you passed a satisfactory evening, sir. I’m sorry I was unable to be of—’
    ‘To hell with my evening. What happened at the Hall? Were you discovered?’
    ‘No, sir. I am happy to say the impersonation aroused no comment.’
    ‘Jeeves, this is no time for reticence. I want a full report. Omit nothing, however trivial.’
    ‘Very well, sir, I shall endeavour to paint a coherent picture.’
    After a cocktail in the drawing room, it seemed, the company had moved into a great barn of a dining room at the front of the house. Jeeves had found himself placed between Georgiana Meadowes and Eileen Venables, mother of the intended Rupert.
    ‘And what about Sir Henry?’ I asked.
    ‘He seemed keen to impress his visitors. His hospitality was marked.’
    ‘The wine flowed in torrents? Second helpings of foie gras?’
    ‘One gained the impression that this was perhaps a last throw of the dice, sir.’
    ‘I see. And how did the … happy couple appear?’
    ‘It was somewhat difficult to form a judgement, sir. The conversation was dominated to a great extent by Mr SidneyVenables, who told a number of stories of his time as Collector of Chanamasala.’
    ‘You surprise me not at all, Jeeves. All of them perhaps reflecting well on S. Venables?’
    ‘The gentleman appears to have been held in high esteem by all who encountered him.’
    ‘And Georgiana? How was she?’
    ‘A most enchanting young woman, sir. I have seldom encountered anyone with whom I have been able to discuss the work of Schopenhauer in a manner so informed yet so light of touch. Miss Meadowes mixes high seriousness with a most playful outlook. She would also appear to have a rare concern for the welfare of others. I formed a most—’
    ‘All right, all right, Jeeves. Don’t forget I do know the girl pretty darned well myself.’
    ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I had not intended to—’
    ‘What about young Venables?’
    ‘Mr Rupert Venables seemed most delighted with his situation in life, sir. I had the impression that he had inherited many of his father’s characteristics, though he was happy on this occasion to yield the floor, as it were.’
    ‘And what was his attitude towards Georgiana?’
    Jeeves considered. One could almost hear the cogwheels of that great brain whirring as he selected the mot juste . It was a pity that, when it came, it was one with which I was unfamiliar.
    ‘I should say his attitude was complaisant, sir.’
    ‘Complacent, do you mean?’
    ‘I fancy either adjective might apply, sir.’
    ‘Hmm.’ While unsure of the difference, I was fairly certain neither was quite up to snuff.
    ‘Tell me, Jeeves,’ I said. ‘One thing I don’t understand is how this writer chap is going to rescue Melbury Hall. Do his books sell in