Kiss of Broken Glass by Madeleine Kuderick Read Free Book Online

slit of a window.
    I tell Donya we shouldn’t go,
    not because the room is restricted
    but because if Skylar is in there
    I don’t want to see her,
    not like that.
    But Donya makes me go.
    Well, not exactly makes me.
    I mean, it’s not like she drags
    me by the hair. But she has this way
    of making you think that not doing
    something is way worse than doing it,
    no matter how bad that something seems.
    Sort of like Rennie.
    So we slip past Bullhorn
    on our rubber-soled socks
    and we figure we’ve got like
    two and a half minutes until
    Bullhorn discovers that we’re gone.
    But even before we get to the door
    I hear this sound that makes me
    want to turn around again.
    I wouldn’t call in crying exactly.
    It’s more high pitched than that,
    like a kitten.
    Donya pushes me to the window.
    This time with more than her words.
    “Is she in there?”
    The window is smudged and the room gray
    so I can’t make anything out at first,
    except for how the walls look like
    they’re covered in mattresses,
    and the floor is sort of spongy.
    But then I see something
    in the far back corner,
    and I feel my ears get hot
    like they always do when I’m mad.
    “Is it her?”
    “See for yourself,” I say.
    Then I brush past Donya
    pissed at her for making me look,
    because that’s the kind of picture
    I’ll never get out of my head.
    That poor little pencil stabber.
    He looks so much like Sean.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
    HarperCollins Publishers
    ..................................................................
I Need to Chill
    So I wedge myself by the window and I watch
    garbage men heaving green plastic cans,
    and a man running to catch the bus,
    and a woman walking her mop dog,
    and wrapping up its poop like a present.
    It’s like there are two worlds now.
    The In Here.
    And the Out There.
    The suspended animation.
    And the full speed ahead.
    And suddenly I’m desperate
    to know what Rennie’s doing.
    In the Out There.
    Right now.
    This very minute.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
    HarperCollins Publishers
    ..................................................................
My One Phone Call
    It feels like a century since I saw Rennie
    through that dirty squad-car window,
    looking sort of shocked and mad,
    like someone had splashed water in her face.
    She must’ve been really pissed at the cop.
    I drum my fingers on the counter
    as the phone rings five times.
    Come on. Come on.
    I know you’re in art class.
    Just pick up already .
    And then I hear her.
    “This better be good.”
    Her words are like punches
    knocking the breath out of me.
    I want her to say:
    OMG! Are you okay?
    This is sooooo unfair!
    Are they gonna let you out soon?
    Everybody misses you like crazy.
    But something’s off.
    “I just wanted to talk,” I say.
    “So talk,” she answers.
    I hear water running and someone giggling
    in the background. Then Rennie sighs,
    like she’s bored with me already.
    “Look. The school’s on high alert,” she says.
    “A message went home telling parents to be
    on guard for the Top Ten Signs of Self-Harm
    and now every mom in Manatee County
    is searching for scissors under the bed
    and taking inventory of their Band-Aid boxes.”
    I hear the phone changing hands
    and another voice jumps on the line.
    “You can’t even get a plastic knife
    in the cafeteria thanks to you.”
    And right away I’m sick to my stomach
    because I know who it is. That growly,
    annoying, gag-me voice could only be
    coming from one person.
    And that’s Tara.
    Yeah.
    The Two Face.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
    HarperCollins Publishers
    ..................................................................
Shower Escape
    All I want is scalding water
    to sear down my spine
    like a hot blade,
    to blister my back,
    to char my chest,
    to melt me to pieces
    so I can dissolve down the drain,
    evaporate into steam,
    and disappear.
    That would feel good right now.
    That would make sense.
    But all I can find is one button,
    no hot