Life Is Not a Reality Show by Kyle Richards Read Free Book Online

actor who played Ponyboy in The Outsiders . Remember that movie? Tommy was so famous at the time we were dating that it was like dating Brad Pitt! I remember being with him once at Disneyland, where girls were literally screaming and throwing themselves at him. I was so immature and jealous that I was ready to rip every hair out of their heads—but I never let him know!
    We were together for a long time, about four or five years. At one point Tommy was doing a movie called Soul Man , costarring with Rae Dawn Chong. He had begun acting kind of weird, and one day he called me and said he didn’t want to be a cheater, so he had decided to be straight with me: he was curious about getting to know another girl. That was Rae Dawn Chong, who he eventually ended up marrying.
    When he told me he wanted to date someone else, I was devastated. It just killed me. I was so upset that I couldn’t hide it from him. I became hysterical. I got off the phone and ran to my mom’s bedroom, and first I fainted, then I was just crying and crying. I thought I was going to die. He was my first love!
    “Pull yourself together!” my mom barked at me. “You never let him know that you’re affected this way.”
    Meanwhile I was hyperventilating. “I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!” I laugh about it now!
    I finally calmed down and by the end of it, I had learned my lesson. After that, I would never allow anyone to get to me like that again—and certainly never let him see me that way if I did.
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    That way when it comes up again I can join in on the conversation. When you’re up on the news and aware of the world outside your own little universe, that’s when you can “sparkle.” Men understand that kind of sparkle.
    Now, before we end class for today, one more thing.
    What if you’re doing everything right but you’re not getting the results you want? What if you’re speaking his language, you’re exuding confidence, you’ve got your fabulous life going on, and you’re not counting the hours and minutes and seconds before he calls? You’re treating yourself with respect and insisting on the same from him, and you’re not boring him with the saga of your favorite lip gloss. You haven’t even given in to temptation and gone to bed with him, because you’re giving the two of you time to really get to know each other first. You’re playing by the rules and you’re playing smart, and yet he seems to be avoiding you. You’re feeling some resistance from him, but surely that can’t be true. You’re just being paranoid, right?
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Keeping the Egos in Check
    As you might imagine, egos grow amok in Beverly Hills. Oh yes.
    Occasionally you might even find that someone you care about is letting her ego run wild. I’m not the kind of person who keeps things inside. If I feel something important about someone I care about, I talk to them. I’m not two-faced; if I’m going to complain to my husband about a friend’s behavior, then I have to be willing to say the same things directly to my friend.
    So if a friend of mine is acting out of control, I talk to her about it with as much kindness as possible. I’ll say, “You know, I love and care about you, and that’s why I’m talking to you about this. I hope I’m not hurting you by raising this with you, but I think perhaps you’re not aware of how you’ve been acting lately and how it’s affecting others.”
    No matter how nicely you say it, it doesn’t always go over well. Some people are open to seeing their flaws and will appreciate your honesty and thank you for pointing things out to them. But some people really won’t! Oh well. I hope my friends would do the same for me.
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    Wrong. If you’re sensing that the guy is putting distance between you, you’re probably right. Don’t try to make yourself feel better by dismissing your gut feeling. That’s the moment to begin giving him some space. Give him some time to come around. If he wants you, he will come