Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) by Love Belvin Read Free Book Online

expecting that, he stumbled over his words. He later told me he’d had his fair share of women during his lifetime and no one “required” a date. He didn’t even take his children’s mothers out for dinner on Mother’s Day.
    “A’ight that’s cool ,” he responded.
    “Good. Call me Thursday night to set the time and place.”
    “Alright,” was all I gave him the opportunity to say before we disconnected.
    I went out with Tyquan that Friday night and many thereafter. He attended Michelle’s graduation/going away party for which, I had spent a small fortune on planning.  He was a buffer for me after Michelle left although no one could replace my dear friend.
    I eventually lowered my guards with Tyquan and had sex with him. The sex was enjoyable, but to me there was something missing. Although I felt that he could never be more to me than a friend, I genuinely cared for him. We would go out to eat and to campus concerts. I would cook meals for him and take him out for special events like his birthday. I’d even occasionally spend time with his children when they were in town but generally , I made it a point to avoid them. I didn’t want to take on that mom or step-mom role since I had no intentions on taking the relationship any further.
    I continued to live on campus believing that it was a lot less expensive. I was fortunate enough to have scholarships out the wazoo. Even with them, I took out student loans to take care of Akeem’s lawyer fees and maintain his commissary, and then I would use what was necessary for school and bank the balance. The money I’d earned from working would help provide food, clothing, and what small bills I had. I stayed current on my lone credit card understanding the importance of good credit. I was as self-sufficient as possible. Michelle and I would alternate holiday visits making sure not miss a beat in each other’s lives. Almost as soon as Michelle returned home, she began working for her family’s physical therapy practice.
    One day during early spring semester of my senior year, I was at work and decided to call Tyquan. I had a taste for onion rings and hoped he was up to going out. As the telephone rang, I’d begun to hum a song being played on the radio.
    “Hello .”
    “Hey , Tyquan! I wanted to know if you wanted to grab a bite to eat tonight.”
    “Tonight?” He paused. “Ummmm…let me call you back.” His tone and response were awkward.
    “Okay I get off at six. Call me.”
    “A’ight”    
    I didn’t like the brevity in his conversation but didn’t address it along with all of the distance he had been creating. If he didn’t pop up with flowers the day before, I would have thought he didn’t want to be bothered. Tyquan never called back while I was at work or that evening. In fact, he didn’t call until after midnight asking to come over. I didn’t mind, I was feeling a little horny, which was another reason I’d called him earlier anyway. So I got up and showered while waiting for him. When he came into my bedroom, I noticed he smelled sort of fresh, like he’d just stepped out of the shower.
    “Where are you coming from?”
    “From down by Red’s.”
    “Oh ,” was all I said, not really caring at all but knowing that he lied.
    That night we had sex. I wanted it badly. It had been over two weeks since we had last been together. What was strange was how Tyquan had no condoms. He’d always carried them in the past and though it was unusual, I didn’t question it, but instead consented to unprotected sex believing it would be the first and last time because I’d planned on picking up a box for my stash. As always, we explored several positions. I’d grown to appreciate sex. Tyquan taught me most of what I knew. I quickly understood how he made those two children. Once he had orgasmed, Tyquan turned over as if he was going to sleep and I said, “I can go another round,” hinting over to him that I wanted more.
    He grumbled ,