Love, Nina by Nina Stibbe Read Free Book Online

like looking after someone ill. He just is ill occasionally and usually at night unfortunately.
    Pippa’s eyebrows have gone wrong. She’s been plucking from the top, which you should never do—it ruins the natural line (apparently). The rule is: only pluck from underneath. If you pluck at all, which I don’t.
    Hope all’s well with you. Sorry to hear about curling-tong burn, always a risk with hot instruments (and early morning usage).
    Love, Nina
    *  *  *
    Dear Vic,
    My April Fool joke on S&W didn’t go to plan. It was based on Elspeth’s old “there’s an elephant in the garden” but scaled down for a very small garden.
    Me: Oh my God, there’s a sheep in the garden.
    Sam: ( looks out ) It’s probably a cat.
    Will: ( goes to French window ).
    Me: There’s a sheep in the garden.
    Will: What are you on about? ( Pause. S&W go about their business. )
    Me: OK, it’s an April Fool’s joke.
    Sam: So there isn’t a sheep?
    Me: No, it was an April Fool.
    Will: It was rubbish.
    Me: My mum used to say there was an elephant in the garden and we always fell for it.
    Will: But you said sheep.
    Me: It’s a smaller garden.
    Sam: An elephant would’ve been better than a sheep.
    Will: An elephant would’ve been cool.
    Me: But a sheep is more believable.
    Will: You should’ve said elephant.
    Sam: Yeah.
    Said I’d do Bolognese (Sam likes it). Fried up some turkey mince and added a jar of Dolmio. Pippa always does it like that and it seems OK. (No AB, he’s in Egypt or Yorkshire or somewhere miles away and no chance of turning up and criticizing the turkey Bolognese.)
    At supper:
    Sam: ( digging about in his food ) You said Bolognese.
    Me: Yes.
    Sam: ( inspecting ) Is this Bolognese?
    Me: Of course.
    Will: ( digging about ) Wait a minute, is it turkey Bolognese?
    Me: Does it taste like turkey?
    Sam: Yes.
    Will: Yes.
    MK: Is this what happens when Bennett’s away?
    Told S&W about how I like cold toast.
    Me: I like it cold with butter and marmalade.
    Will: Why?
    Me: Makes me think I’m in a hotel.
    Will: Or prison.
    Sam: You don’t have toast in prison.
    Will: What do you have?
    Sam: Porridge.
    Love, Nina
    *  *  *
    April/May 1983 (General Election soon)
    Dear Vic,
    It’s the total opposite here—they all absolutely HATE her guts (they call her Mrs. Thatcher). When they see her on the telly someone will say, “Look, Mrs. Thatcher.” In a disgusted-but-interested way.
    MK and AB used to be Labour but they’ve gone over to the SDP. Sam and Will used to both be Labour, but now Sam’s gone over to the SDP. Stephen is Labour (apparently) and hasn’t gone over so far. Sam and Will are taking the General Election very seriously. They want to know how you lot are all going to vote. I’ve said you’re all Ecology to keep it neutral.
    Yesterday Sam asked if the SDP will win the election.
    Me: It’s unlikely.
    Sam: ( worried ) I might switch back to Labour.
    Will: You can’t keep switching—I’m Labour, you’re SDP now.
    Sam: I want to switch back to Labour.
    Will: You can’t.
    Sam: Yeah, I’m going to. I’m Labour again.
    Will: You’ve got an SDP strip in your window.
    Sam: I’ll take it down.
    Will: I’m ringing Mum. ( Will rings MK ) Sam, Mum wants to talk to you.
    After the phone call:
    Me: What did MK say?
    Sam: She said I should stay true to my beliefs.
    Will: Whatever the hell they are.
    Me: What are your beliefs?
    Sam: I believe in Paolo Rossi.
    Love, Nina
    PS Nunney’s to and fro to Ickenham to do with the Labour Party. Knocking on doors, asking people about their intentions and trying to convince them over, if necessary.
    *  *  *
    Dear Vic,
    Will’s got a cold, so was at home groggy. This has been our day.
    Will: What will I do when you go to do Sam’s drops?
    Me: You can either come with me or I’ll ask Amanda to come