Love.com by Karolyn Cairns Read Free Book Online

dialed Joan first with the news, and finally his parents. The Walker’s had just visited to say goodbye to their youngest son. They expected the worst at any time, but hearing his father’s gruff voice breaking on the phone line snapped Emily out of the fog in her brain.
    As soon as the body was removed by the paramedics, she collapsed into Joan’s arms, weeping until she had nothing left, and still the tears flowed. It was like a dam opened within her heart.
    In the busy days that followed, she felt better knowing she didn’t cave to Eddie’s parent’s wish he go to hospice in his final days. She felt like she owed her husband that. She told herself she did her duty by Eddie. She put on a stoic front through the funeral; honoring him as she had her marriage vows.
    She was devastated to find the letter while cleaning out his closet, realizing her whole life was a mockery ; her noble sacrifice unappreciated.
    Emily closed her eyes, forcing away the bitterness she felt. It was true what they said. You could never really know some one completely. The news the letter contained rocked her world, reminded her how naïve she’d been. Stop it, don’t go there , she thought morosely, her toe dragging along the tub tiles, her expression growing wistful.
    Suddenly she thought of Ian . The water began to feel warmer; the world a less cruel place. Thoughts of him took her mind off her failures, her inadequacies, and made her feel beautiful even if she wasn’t. It seemed a harmless pastime. A lighthearted flirtation in her head didn’t have any backlash, any regrets, and any pain.
    H er hand slipped under the water, finding the sensitive place that seemed to have a mind of its own the last sixteen hours since she set eyes upon Ian Sawyer.
    As soon as her fingers began to touch herself, Ian’s handsome face filled her mind, making her gasp aloud as the pleasurable sensations intensified. Emily had a series of small orgasms, making her grip the sides of the tub as she came, glorying in such a guiltless, solitary means to find release.
    She smiled, deciding some of her problems had been solved tonight, if not the world’s. She knew one thing; these imaginings weren’t enough for her. She needed something real. She needed to think about dating again.
    While most of her friends and family would argue it was far too soon to contemplate ; Emily felt like she wasted enough time already. With that decided, she got out of the tub and dried off, putting on her fluffy pink robe.
    Emily sat at her computer desk in the bedroom, flipping it on, eyes filled with determination. Even as she typed in the words to the search engine, she questioned doing this. She was so not going to do this, she told herself repeatedly. As soon as the website opened, she made up her mind to do it.
    ~ ~ ~
    “You did what?” Joan looked alarmed when they met up at the gym the next day. She informed her of her decision to join the popular dating site. Love.com was the most talked about site. They carefully screened each member. “Are you frickin' nuts, Em? Oh my God, you really are loosening it! Why would you want to do that for?”
    Emily glared at her. “Because I might as well get used to the idea of being single. Dating seems like the perfect way to do that.”
    “It’s too soon,” Joan argued and shook her head, her brown eyes filled with concern. “What if you meet some wackjob stalker on there? Come on, you can’t be serious? Eddie hasn’t been gone a month, Em! What the hell were you thinking?”
    “My husband wouldn’t hold it against me, Joan,” Emily replied evenly, disappointed by her friend’s reaction. “I think dating right now might be good for me.”
    “You need to focus on yourself, not making dates with complete strangers online!”
    “Joan, I’m doing this . I don’t care what you say,” Emily said and refused to meet her gaze. She was afraid Joan would see the truth there; that she was starting to unravel. Thoughts of Ian