Love's Haven by Catherine Palmer Read Free Book Online Page B

sickness…that’s all he got.”
    Sherry pulled a tissue from the box by Mara’s bed. “Here you go. You can’t wish this sadness away, so you might as well feel it. I think it’s part of grieving for Todd.”
    “It is, but I can’t forgive Brock for what he did, even though I know I should. I’ve heard countless sermons on the topic, and I never thought it was that difficult. If we want God’s forgiveness, we’re supposed to forgive others. But this is so different…so hard. I’m not even sure I know how to forgive Brock, Sherry. Besides, I can’t let go of Todd. Not now.”
    “Abby is Todd’s daughter, Mara. Of course you can’t let his memory go. You never will, and you never should.” She paused a moment. “But you’re right about Brock. You do need to forgive him.”
    Mara stared at the door through which Brock had come and gone at least twenty times since Abby’s birth. Half the time, he was wheeling the baby into the room in her bassinet. He rarely stayed while Mara nursed, and they barely spoke to each other. When they did talk, they discussed only the most mundane, factual matters. But he was there, consistently there, as though he belonged.
    “If I shouldn’t let go of Todd,” Mara said, fingering the ring on her hand, “and if he’ll always be Abby’s father, how can I forgive myself for marrying Brock Barnett?”
    “Because you know why you did it.”
    “I don’t want to live in his house, Sherry.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because…” Mara conjured the image that had been bothering her all morning—Brock at the breakfast table, freshly showered and dressed in a denim shirt and jeans. She could almost smell his aftershave. “Because I don’t want to see him.”
    “You won’t see him. He’s a rancher. He’ll be out feeding cows or whatever. You know, up at sunrise and to bed at dusk. Besides, you’ll be busy taking care of Abby.”
    Mara pondered this for a moment. Sherry was probably right. Todd had told her Brock’s home was a sprawling adobe ranch house with two separate wings and a courtyard in between. She and Brock probably could live side by side without ever setting eyes on each other. Just as well.
    “I can’t believe I’m going to add an annulment or a divorce to my résumé,” she said with a long sigh. “Married, widowed, married, divorced. Good grief. How long do you suppose Brock will want to stay married?”
    “Given what you’ve told me about his track record with women, what do you think? I imagine he’ll decide he’s had enough domesticity after a month or two, and he’ll want to go back to having fun.” Sherry shook her head. “Please don’t worry so much about it. The Bible allows divorce.”
    “Because of the hardness of our hearts. That’s what Jesus said about it. I don’t want to become a hard-hearted, unforgiving, bitter woman, Sherry. What am I doing?”
    “Just relax. You’re in God’s hands.”
    “This can’t be part of His plan for me. I asked Him for help—not for Brock Barnett!”
    “Well, he’s who you got. Just make sure Brock signs everything, so your baby is legally protected the way he promised.”
    “He brought the papers in and showed them to me yesterday. Things couldn’t be better for Abby.”
    Mara tried to project the future Sherry had outlined. She and Abby would live alone in the big house until Brock’s hormones came calling. Then they would move out, the marriage would be annulled and Mara would fend for herself, as she had before and could again.
    “Brock married you out of a sense of obligation, Mara,” Sherry reminded her. “He feels it’s his duty to keep Todd’s daughter out of the welfare system. He knows he was responsible for Todd up on those cliffs at Hueco Tanks, and now he’s responsible for you two.”
    “He thinks he can buy my forgiveness. And God’s.”
    “Why not? He can buy everything else. Brock Barnett’s wayward soul is not your responsibility right now, Mara. The only thing you