Maggie Malone Gets the Royal Treatment by Jenna McCarthy Read Free Book Online Page A

such events…” I hear Penelope explaining something as I rush off in search of the nearest bathroom, relieved to see there’s no maid wearing rubber gloves following me with a role of monogrammed TP.
    I find a loo—if you can call it that. Talk about a swanky potty. I am pretty sure this very room is why they sometimes call potties thrones . It has its own lobby filled with fancy armchairs and giant mirrors on every wall with gold carved frames as thick as a door. You could have a birthday party in this place!
    â€œHello?” I call out. “Anyone else in here?” My voice echoes around the place but nobody answers.
    â€œPsst,” I whisper into one of the mirrors. “Frank. Frank-the-genie! Come in, Frank!”
    I practically have my face pressed right up against one of those huge mirrors when I spot Frank standing behind me. It freaks me out and I scream and whip around. It turns out he’s not actually behind me, but in another one of the mirrors. It’s like we’re in a funhouse and he’s everywhere I turn—and so am I. It’s dizzying.
    â€œWell good day there, Princess!” Frank bellows. He’s wearing these tall rubber boots that come almost all the way to the top of his legs, and he’s standing in what looks like a river. A blinding beam of sunlight glints off the snowcapped mountains behind him. “How’s the royal life treating you so far? Better than being a handmaiden?”
    â€œJeez, Frank, you sure know how to scare a girl,” I tell him. “Where are you this time?”
    â€œFly-fishing in Saskatchewan!” shouts Frank, hauling back and casting his fishing rod far out of my line of vision. That river is moving pretty fast, and Frank looks like he could get swept away at any minute. “It’s an annual thing I do with my genie buddies. We need to relax and rejuvenate too, you know, have a little downtime. You probably think being a genie is all magic mirrors and flying carpets, but honestly, it’s exhausting .” Frank is a little red in the face from tugging on his line, but still he doesn’t look all that exhausted to me.
    â€œWell, that’s great, Frank,” I say. “I’m fine, I guess. A little nervous about today. And that Penelope seems like she might be trouble.”
    â€œOh, you can handle Penelope,” Frank says with another laugh.
    â€œThanks for the vote of confidence,” I say. “Any specific pointers?”
    â€œJust be yourself, Malone,” Frank says. “That’s the secret to working the MMBs. If you get in a bind, don’t ask yourself what would Princess Mimi do , ask yourself what would Maggie Malone do ? If you do that, I promise you’ll be just fine.”
    I don’t know about that. I’m pretty sure princesses are supposed to be polished and sophisticated, and I wouldn’t say I’m famous for putting my foot in my mouth or anything, but let’s just say I’m familiar with the move.
    Before I can think of anything else to ask Frank, his reel starts making this crazy buzzing sound. The line gets really taut, and then it’s dragging him away.
    â€œGotta run, Malone,” he shouts, disappearing into the distance. “This sucker is huge . I think I might have a narwhal on the hook here!”
    And then he’s gone. I take care of my business, being extra careful to hike that gigantic bow up nice and high so it doesn’t dip into the toilet. Then I wash my hands, take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and look myself right in the eyes. You chose this, Malone. Now let’s go do it!
    As I approach the waiting limousine, a guy holding the door open tells me that Amelia has gone ahead in another car, to explain the scheduling mishap. Jeez! Not a lot of wiggle room in the life of a princess, huh? I slide into the backseat next to Penelope, who is looking straight ahead with that weird smile on her