Matt Fargo by Dirty Japanese: Everyday Slang From "What's Up?" to "F*%# Off!" Read Free Book Online Page A

itteiru

    He/she always stands me up at the last minute. aitsu wa itsumo dotakyan suru

    He/she is so self-centered.
aitsu wa chō jikochū da
    He/she is no fun at all.
aitsu wa tsumannai yatsu da
    All she ever does is hang out with her boyfriend.
anoko kareshi to asonde bakka damon
    He/she is totally a Benedict Arnold.
aitsu wa uragirimono da
    We used to be friends, but not anymore.
mukashi wa tsurundeta kedo ima wa sappari da ne
    He/she pisses me off.
aitsu wa atama ni kurun da
    Oh my god, I cannot stand him/her!
maji mukatsuku aitsu
    He/she really gets on my nerves.
aitsu maji uzē
    We’ll never make up.
nakanaori wa mō muri da na
    I never want to see them again.
mō nido to aitakunai

Getting pissed off
    mukatsuku

    When something pisses you off, it’s really important to be able to express that anger, because otherwise your eyes will roll back into your head and you’ll never be able to see again.
    He/she…
aitsu. . .
    His/her attitude…
aitsu no taido. . .
    His/her face…
aitsu no kao. . .
    The way he/she talks…
aitsu no shaberikata. . .
    Everything…
nani mo kamo. . .
    You…
omae. . .
    Fat Americans…
debu na amejin. . .
    …piss(es) me off.
. . .mukatsuku
    …really piss(es) me off!
. . .maji mukatsukū
    * The word(maji mukatsukū) sometimes gets abbreviated as “MM,” as in the following:

    …bother(s) the hell out of me.
. . .ni hara ga tatsu
    …get(s) my tits in a wringer.
. . .wa atama ni kuru wa
    …get(s) on my nerves.
. . .ki ni kuwanē
    Oh my god, his/her face pisses me off so much. chikushō aitsu no kao chō emu emu da

Snapping
    kireru

    If Step One of anger is getting pissed off, then Step Two is snapping. The Japanese word for snapping, kireru, means exactly the same thing: the delicate thread suspending your overwrought composure has just snapped in half with an unbecoming twang.
    He/she called me fat and I snapped.
aitsu ni debu tte iwarete kireta
    He/she looses their shit really easily.
aitsu wa sugu kireru mon
    Don’t snap at me!
kireru na yo
    Another word you will hear in this context is gyaku gire, which literally means “snapping back”—like when you yell “Fuck you” out the window at a Chinese lady who just cut you off, only to have her blue-haired head come poking
out of her Oldsmobile to yell “YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO, MOTHERFUCKER” in a voice that leaves the next four generations of your children in shame.
    I tried snapping at my girlfriend, but she just snapped back harder.
    kanojo ni kirete mitara gyakugire sarechatta
    He/she gave me a dirty look.
aitsu ni gantsuke rareta
    You always look pissed off in photographs.
omae shashin de wa itsumo gantsukteteirunda yo na
    I just wanna haul off and deck that motherfucker.
bunnagutte yaritē

Fighting
    kenka

    Ever since World War Two, Japan has been a peaceful country in which the word “fighting” has no meaning. Just kidding! Even though guns are illegal in Japan, a fair amount of shit gets kicked, some of it even memorably violent. My dirty mouth has gotten me black eyes and a busted jaw, plus one time I saw a couple tweakers totally brain a kid with a mountain bike. Oh yeah, and I got a knife pulled on me once in Shinjuku, but that was by a creepy Russian dude. Still, the language barrier often prevents foreigners from getting involved in some of the best bloodletting that the Eight Islands have to offer—so get yourself some good health insurance and try out the following:
    You suck.
saitei da omae

    Fuck off.
uzēndayo
    Motherfucker.
kisama
    Asshole.
temē
    Leave me the fuck alone.
shitsukēndayo
    I hate you.
daikirai
    What did you just say!?!
nandatō
    Get out of my way.
doke
    Go to hell.
shine
    Eat shit.
kusokurae
    Shut the fuck up.
ussēndayo
    What the fuck?
ahoka
    You’re worthless.
tsukaenē yatsu dana

    You got a problem?
monku akka
    Bring it on!
kakatte koi

Stopping a fight
    kenka o tomeru

    If you ever have one of those rare holiday experiences when a carload of teenage meth-heads roll up on you fully