My Soon-To-Be Sex Life by Judith Tewes Read Free Book Online Page A

washers.
    We were quiet for a while.
    â€œAny fallout from Ty?” Roach asked.
    â€œHe’s too busy porking Jessica’s best friend to worry about little ol’ me. I’m yesterday’s blue-balls as far as he’s concerned.”
    â€œI hope you’re right.”
    â€œI’m always right.” I joined her on the floor. “Usually.”

Chapter Eight
    â€œSUCKS TO BE ME”
    SCREENPLAY
    BY
    CHARLOTTE WEBB
    ANONY MOUS
    INTERIOR. A HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
    CHARLIE and ROACH skip down corridor holding hands, laughing uproariously at their own
    lighthearted whimsy. The zippy duo comes to an abrupt halt as they near a row of lockers.
    CHARLIE – VOICE OVER
    Much as I loved being right, in this one teeny instance, being wrong wouldn’t have sucked a whole bunch.
    ROACH
    Do you believe this?
    CHARLIE – VOICE OVER
    Yes, I did believe it, because, as I told Roach before, lots of things that weren’t supposed to happened, did happen, and one of them just happened to crap in my face. The evidence of my stupidity was proudly on display not four feet away.
    ROACH
    Is that really you? If I squint, it could be anyone. Well, any girl.
    CHARLIE
    Except that I’m the only girl in school with a fucking mole at the end of her smile! I knew I should have pulled an Enrique Iglesias and had Mini Me removed. We could have preserved her in a Petri dish for future generations to admire.
    ROACH
    Let’s think positive. One topless photo doesn’t a life of prostitution make.
    CHARLIE
    One, no. However, one topless photo of you photocopied and taped to every single fucking locker in your school could certainly lead a girl in that direction.
    ROACH
    No one will figure it out. And if someone tries to peg this on you, we’ll write up a formal denial and post it in the school newsletter.
    CHARLIE
    Did you even read the words at the bottom? Are your corneas non-functional?
    (reads aloud)
    Charlie gives good head !
    ROACH
    Ewe…did you really?
    CHARLIE
    I’m a virgin, Roach. Doesn’t mean I’m exactly virginal . But the point is, he used my name. I think that makes it pretty clear who owns those melons.
    ROACH
    (groaning)
    How did this happen?
    CHARLIE
    Tyler Gribbons. He took the shot with his cell, right before he went to that football training
    camp.
    ROACH
    (answers her cell)
    Weird, it’s for you. I think it’s Ty.
    CHARLIE
    (pissed)
    Hello. This is Charlie, who’s going to Fucking maim and kill you , speaking.
    TY
    I see you got my message this time. I wasn’t sure if you had your phone back yet. You gotta’ admit the old school locker trick is still pretty effective.
    CHARLIE
    Fuck off and die. Slowly and painfully.
    TY
    (laughing)
    Love you too, baby. See you around. Actually, lots of people will be seeing you around. I posted it online.
    CHARLIE
    (dial tone in her ear)
    You ………………………………………
    FADE TO BLACK
    The B-movie of my life fades away and I land in the horrific reality of it all.
    I knew it could have been worse. In his haste Ty had prematurely snapped, capturing the moment when my bra was just slipping off my breasts. No exposed nipples. You could have seen the same amount of flesh on any beach or poolside.
    But still. The fact that he’d lied and a supposedly private moment was plastered on lockers…stung. It made me feel vulnerable and used and everything I didn’t want to feel when it came to guys.
    â€œIn a thousand years from now, this photo will resurface and save my flagging acting career.” See? I could think positive thoughts. And I did, for about a second.
    â€œYou don’t want to be an actor anymore,” Roach said. “You want to be an accountant. You told me last week. We planned your course load.”
    â€œRoach, no one wants to be an accountant. That was a joke.”
    â€œOh, well, good thing. I was afraid