Needle Too by Craig Goodman Read Free Book Online

done…for
both
of us.
    4
    I am in no way scarred by the uniform I was forced to wear at the Rock and Roll Café of Stamford, Connecticut—which leads me to believe it couldn’t have been too traumatizing. In fact, generally speaking, of all the restaurant jobs I’ve had this was clearly the most enjoyable as I shared a unique bond with the managers that could have only been forged from working in the trenches together, surviving Serendipity, and watching them suck each other off while I smoked crack and played the synthesizer.
    As a result, the depth of my relationship with Randy and Jack was reflected in my performance as I was the model employee and always on time and never drunk or fucked up at work—which was more than a lot of the staff could say. And I really liked working there. There’s something about being treated with even just a modicum of respect by managers who, incidentally, not only expected the staff to pass that respect along to the customers, but that the customers reciprocate the same degree of courtesy to the staff. And though my stint at the Rock and Roll Café would be relatively short, there was more than one occasion during that period when Randy and Jack felt obliged to escort guests out of the dining room for having less than stellar attitudes with their employees. And if a customer should follow-up his rudeness with aggression over suddenly being asked to vacate the premises, management would almost always ask me to help facilitate the expulsion as they knew there wasn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t do for them.
    “Hey Craig—give me a blow job.”
    Except that.
    “Nope,” I told Jack on several occasions.
    “Why the fuck not?!”
    “Do you actually have to ask?”
    “Oh, yes
. ”
    “For the same reason you don’t wanna lick Paula’s pussy,” I told him.
    “So then is this your way of implying that you wanna lick Paula’s pussy? Because if you do—I think I can make that happen.”
    “I think I’d rather lick
your
pussy.”
    “Well, you see then!
We’re sort of on the same page!”
    Clearly, I had an unusual history and relationship with my direct superiors, and though they carried on in front of me in a manner that was seldom if ever seen by any of the other employees, every staff member absolutely adored and appreciated them for the respectful and mild-mannered way in which they treated their subordinates, which is largely unheard of in the industry. The interesting irony of the fact is that while a large percentage of restaurant managers, chefs and owners regularly mistreat, disrespect and violate the most basic rights of their underlings, many simultaneously drone on about a shortage of workers in the industry that take pride in their work. Thus, by making what can already be a distasteful job truly distressing, this upper echelon of service industry professionals have unwittingly created a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they make a practice out of treating their service staffs like shit and then seem surprised when their employees have no respect for themselves, their jobs or where they work. Consequently, when hiring time rolls around many restaurants are ultimately forced to bypass the labor pool for the cesspool because anyone with anything even remotely close to self-respect is likely to bolt by the end of their second week. So it’s not at all surprising why many restaurant staffs are often selectedfrom a field of largely subpar, unsavory characters that at best have little to no experience, education or work ethic and at worst—some pretty serious drug habits, criminal records and questionable characters. Now, of course, that’s not to suggest that while you’re wolfing down your Rooty Tooties at three in the morning—blue-haired Betty’s back in the kitchen doing lines with her panties wrapped around her ankles. I’m just trying to point out the fact that a lot of these restaurateurs are getting just what they ordered and exactly what they