On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep by Michelle Kemper Brownlow Read Free Book Online

just wasn’t going to work out.
    “I’m not sure what you want to know. Like health history and stuff?”
    “Tell me a little about you and why you’re here.”
    “Well, I’m Gracie, but you knew that. I’m twenty-one and just finished my junior year. I’m a Social Work major. I transferred here from the UT Martin campus Spring Semester of my sophomore year. I just had a terrible break up last semester and then immediately fell in love with my best friend, Jake, who just happens to be my ex’s former roommate.” There that should keep us busy for a while, and I didn’t even have to say Noah’s name.
    “I see. And how is the new relationship going?”
    “Jake is amazing. He’s the reason I had the strength to leave my ex in the first place.”
    “So, without Jake, you wouldn’t have left your ex?”
    “I like to think I would have, but I’m really not a very strong person.”
    “So, you get your strength from Jake.” Her one eyebrow raised just enough that I knew this was the part where I was supposed to have an ‘aha’ moment.
    “Yeah, I do. He sees things in me I don’t. He knew I could do it.”
    “Gracie, what worries me about that notion is that you are relying on someone else for your own strength. We need to get you to a point where you realize your strength comes from within.” She jotted something down. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
    “Sure, and I hope to one day be there, too, but, without Jake, I don’t know up from down. I can’t imagine starting this process without him.” I motioned with my hand, signaling that the process I was referring to was all the shit that might happen in her office...if I came back.
    “I see. So, tell me a little about your ex. What is his name?”
    Dammit.
Her hand hovered over the yellow legal pad she had in her lap, poised to diagram the mess I brought that day. It never occurred to me she would be taking notes. Notes on how fucked up I was.
Shit.
Five minutes in and my chest was tight, and I was sweating.
    “Um...” I cleared my throat. “Noah. His name was Noah.”
    “Was? His name
is still
Noah, correct?”
    I nodded. What the hell? She was going to go all smartass on me? I didn’t have to deal with this.
Don’t sit there in your Vera Wang outfit and make me look stupid, lady.
Suddenly, I was aware of what I was wearing. My over-sized, sleeveless, red flannel shirt was draped over a black graphic t-shirt with bright yellow lettering that spelled out I’M WITH THE BAND. I had on black leggings and my favorite girly combat boots. Dr. Sylvia Watts was perfectly put together and probably never suffered a day in her life, and the attitude she sported had me on the defense. I wiggled my fingers to keep from forming fists.
    “I know that seemed like a smart ass question.”
Ya think?
Okay, she swore, so she’s not being
perfectly
professional. That’s one point in her favor. “But, so many times, when we have bad break ups, we try to push that person out of our minds as though they have been exterminated, removed from the planet. If we refer to Noah in the present tense, it will be easier to come to terms with the fact that he will continue to exist, and he will move on. It won’t be as much of a shock to your system if you unexpectedly run into him or hear someone mention his name. Your relationship may be over, but Noah isn’t. Does that make sense?”
    I nodded and unshed tears burned my eyes. I blinked as fast as I could and looked down at my hands, wringing themselves lifeless. It never occurred to me she might make me cry the first day.
    “Gracie. Tell me why you are crying.” She tapped the end of her pen on her hand that held the legal pad.
    “I’m not crying.”
    “Gracie. We don’t play games in this office. You are here to get better, to talk through the things that brought you here, and to heal. Those things don’t happen without flushing your system of all the pain. Think of it as a plugged-up toilet. The water