One Man Show by John J. Bonk Read Free Book Online

Baby’s Cry. That was Cynthia’s cue to start narrating.
    “From the moment they took their first steps together, Princess Precious and Jingle Jangles, the Jester’s son, were inseparable.”
    “Louder!” I said. Cynthia’s voice had a habit of trailing off.
    “Were inseparable,” she repeated.
    I pulled Pepper onto the dark stage for our opening pose. My heart was thumping up a storm.
    “They spent hours frolicking in the Royal Sniffing Gardens,” Cynthia went on, “and playing games like ring-around-the-dragon
     and pin-the-tail-on-the-unicorn.”
    “Do good,” Pepper whispered to me. I squeezed her sweaty hand.
    “Pull the curtains!” I called to Leonard. “Now!”
    The opening curtains screeched like a howler monkey, but the audience applauded when they saw the set. So far, so good. My
     mind was still on Jeremy, though, sitting out there,watching - just like a regular person. I couldn’t breathe for a second, until I crammed the thought down to the bottom of
     my brain. (Did I mention that I was freaking out?)
    “Do tell me another joke, Jingle Jangles!” Pepper said.
    “Your wish is my command, Princess,” I said, with a sweeping bow. “Umm, let’s see. How do you make a gooseberry float?”
    “I haven’t a clue,” Pepper said. “How
do
you make a gooseberry float?”
    “Take one gooseberry” - I did a forward somersault - “and toss it in the moat!”
    The audience groaned. With the spotlight blinding me, they looked like a giant black blob.
    “Oh, Jing,” Pepper said, giggling. “I believe each joke you tell is funnier than the last.”
    “It’s all in the timing,” I said, hopping to my feet. “I frequently work on timing with my frather
-father.”
    Ugh! A flub already? Maybe wearing Dad’s neckties as a belt is bringing me bad luck.
    “Another,” Pepper said, jumping up and down. “Tell another!”
    “As you wish. But promise me that I shan’t be thrown in the dungeon if you split your royal sides.”
    “I promise.”
    “Okay, then, brace yourself. Why did the peahen cross the road?…”
    After the scene ended, I had a few minutes offstage to ditchthe belt and pull myself together. The spotlight shot across the stage, past Cynthia, to the exit sign, then back to Cynthia.
    “The years flew by faster than a griffin’s gallop,” she said, “and by the time they turned thirteen, Princess Precious and
     Jingle Jangles were gazing at each other with a special glint in their eyes. Alas, they were falling in love.”
    A rowdy
oooh
came out of the audience, followed by a
shhh.
    “It was important, however, that the Princess marry well. For you see,” Cynthia said, cupping her hand to her cheek, “despite
     their enviable bloodline and noble airs, the royal family was poor.”
    “Louder!” I said.
    “Dirt poor!” she said, shooting me a nasty look. “In fact, their silken robes were fraying at the edges, and their crowns
     were dented and sat crookedly upon their regal heads.”
    The spotlight zigzagged across the stage and landed on Darlene as the Royal Nanny and Wally as the King.
    “I’m trrrroubled, Your Highness,” Darlene said, swishing her dress. “Your daughter is spending entirely too much time with
     the fool’s son and far too little time on her embrrrroidery.”
    She was doing a bad English accent, which Miss Honeywell had told her
not
to do, and was rolling her r’s.
    “But, Lady Pickerel,” Wally said in his deep King voice, “my daughter cherishes her afternoons with young Jingle Jangles.
     Why, she seems to blossom in his very presence!”
    “My point prrrrecisely,” Darlene snarled. “And no goodcan come of it. Besides, it seems that your Prrrrecious has unknowingly captured the heart of a prrrrince! Rrrrumor has it
     that Krrrrispen of Kaloo rides past our gardens every fortnight to catch a mere glimpse of her.”
    I popped my head up from behind the castle wall with a look of utter despair. That’s what it said in the stage