penance. a love story (The Böhme Series) by Sarah Buhl Read Free Book Online Page A

young woman from earlier was still with him and she gave me a sad expression, but in her eyes I found understanding. She had strength to her, showing she saw what I did as valid. Blake nodded to his jeep to suggest we needed to leave. He and the young woman walked to his jeep as I turned away from them. As I did, from behind I heard the loud girl yell, “I told you he was a fag!” The crowd responded to her with silence. Maybe they were afraid I was going to attack them too.
    My thoughts came back to Sid and the girl getting tattooed when he cleared his throat. I looked at them and they both stared at me.
    “Did you hear me, Wynn?” Sid asked with a furrowed brow.
    “Uh, no, no I didn’t .” I stared at him with glassy eyes. Stuck in my own memories, I wore an empty expression. I nod and smile when I am supposed to and most of the time it works in conversation. But the last memory took too much space and the present conversation lost to it.
    “Man, where the hell d’ya go? You were here and then you weren’t. I asked you if you were coming in this weekend for your tattoo ,” he said, resting his forearm on his leg and giving me a confused look. I watched as he gathered more ink on his needle before finishing the girl’s tattoo.
    “Uh, yeah I’ll be in on Sunday. I’m going to head out now though. I have a few things I should finish ,” I said.
    I needed to leave before I combusted. I shouldn’t judge her and believe her to be as the girls from my past because she looked and acted as they did. But as much as I sit on the sidelines and watch people, I am often correct in my assumptions. I turned to the door and left without a word.
    When I stepped outside, I saw a familiar face and my thoughts and blood began to race—the stubborn girl who didn’t want me to open the door for her earlier. She was walking away with ear buds in again and I watched as she entered Petra’s bookstore and it made me smile. Was she different?
    She acted and carried herself as if she were the break in a world full of repetition. Earlier she made a point not to welcome niceties most girls longed for and I liked it. She hadn’t put on a façade or played bashful as many girls do. She was not waiting for a knight in shining armor.
    I walked past the front door of the store and the girl stood inside the entryway with her head lifted. Her eyes were closed and she looked as the very definition of free. She wore an expression of pure contentment. I stood there for several moments, anticipating the lowering of her chin and her eyes as she saw the store for the first time. The store was enough to fill any book lover with excitement.
    I walked farther and continued to watch her as I stopped near the brick wall outlying the window. Leaning against it, I saw movement from an aisle of books farther inside the store. It was Petra. She gave me a knowing look with one of her sly smiles, tapped the side of her nose, and pointed at me. She was always weird that way. She was a perpetual child and it gave her a uniqueness one doesn’t often find in the world. I shook my head and gave my eyes back to the young woman. She lowered her head as Petra spoke and her attention drifted from the experience she had.
    I lifted myself from the wall and turned to leave. I was a twenty-three year old man and this was the first time I wanted to know what was going on inside another human being’s head. I was happy living this way because I didn’t have to interact with people. When you get deep into someone’s psyche you pull part of them into you and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want that pressure on me. I didn’t want them to know me. To be honest, it scared me. I didn’t want the vulnerability that came with it. But looking back toward the store, I wanted to know this girl.
    I dated a couple times a few years back. Sid got Blake involved in his conspiracy to set me up with a girl. They arranged dates for me with a couple hot girls as Blake labeled