PFK1 by U Read Free Book Online Page A

right as I was
    about ready to leave town in 1975.
    We made out at a party, but that was all. Still, it was some pretty
    passionate necking. Real deep tongue action. Sarah liked kissing me,
    I could tell, and I liked kissing her. A lot. But Sarah insisted she
    would not be intimate with a guy unless he agreed to an exclusive
    relationship first.
    "Oh, I’m not saying we have to immediately get married," Sarah
    said. "But if I am with a guy he is only with me. Nobody else."
    Sarah said that had to be the deal, right up front. She also added
    that she was no prude and liked sex, but it must be in the context of an
    exclusive relationship. Now that I look back, I think maybe she was
    on to something.
    Perhaps if I had gone through such a discussion with Polly, I might
    not have misread so many of her desperate signals.

    41

    At this late stage, I am beginning to believe that couples probably
    ought to get to know each other a little better before they start fucking.
    Having at least some idea of what you are getting into with someone
    might smooth the adjustment.
    Ah, hindsight.
    Finished Chap. 28 tonight. I did not think it needed a notebook
    rewrite so I just wrote it straight. It went fine. The Vladimir Lanolin
    radicalization vignette brought the manuscript up to page 82. I’m
    hitting my stride at last, working without interruption. I might even
    finish ahead of schedule.
    I’d like to get through this thing without having to do a complete
    third draft, if at all possible. Also need to index the names so that
    they will be consistent in the final version. I keep changing them so
    often they remind me of party hats. You take them off as soon as the
    candles are blown out.
    Planning a trip to Eugene this weekend.
    Need to do a few things there.
    * * * *
    March 9, 1978
    Then again, the damn thing will probably need a complete third
    draft after all. Oh well. Finished Chap. 29 this evening, bringing it up
    to page 86. At this rate I may be done by the end of the month. I sure
    hope so.
    Tomorrow I intend to clean house, wash clothes, and get ready for
    my trip to Eugene. Also need to get some money.
    Work is going okay.
    Got a letter telling me that my tax refund is being held again for
    overdue student loans.
    Those fucks. I will never get out from under those old college
    loans at this rate. That is the reason why I will not and do not plan to
    attend law school. To do it, I would have to borrow more money. I
    say to hell with that shit.
    So many people I run across wonder why I seem to be paranoid
    about money. These comments invariably come from people who
    have never been without it, people who have led very comfortable

    42

    lives. In my experience, it takes a special person to be someone who
    has money but does not treat everyone else like shit. I have yet to
    meet such a person. Certainly no one in my acquaintance would
    qualify.
    Gotta finish my book.
    Need to get some decent reefer while I am in Eugene. Maybe I can
    ask John Thomas.

    * * * *
March 13, 1978
    The weekend turned out well for the most part. Got my original
    manuscript back and made a date with Annie. Bought a little dope
    from a guy John Thomas knows but I will have to wait to the end of
    the month to get more. It is hard for me to do without cannabis sativa.
    I use it to explore my inner self.
    Went to a party. Saw a lot of Eugene people and had a pretty good
    time. The bus needs some transmission work done, I am beginning to
    suspect. There is a grinding noise in second gear. Got another letter
    from Mick. Have already sent him a long letter, even before I got his.
    May swap houses with Charles and Arianna the weekend of the 1st.
    That could be fun. Only missed Saturday as a workday on the book
    this weekend. Cranked out Chap. 30 on Sunday, bringing the page
    total up to 92. I’d like to get this current draft completed before the
    state Democratic Party Convention.
    The book the book the book. I get so tired of working on it
    sometimes I want to