Rodrick Rules by Jeff Kinney Read Free Book Online

him.
    [Image: A cartoon of two ladies in front of a cupboard.]
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    I remember MY first day of preschool. I didn't really know anyone, so I was pretty
    scared about being around a bunch of new kids. But this boy named Quinn came
    right over and started talking to me.

    [Image: A cartoon of a boy talking to a small child.] "Do you like Ice cream?
    Yeah!
    Then why don't you marry it?"
    I didn't get that it was a joke, so it really freaked me out.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man scolding the child standing in front of an ice-cream
    cone.]
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    I told Mom I didn't want to go back to preschool, and I told her all about Quinn and
    what he said.
    But Mom told me Quinn was just being silly, and I didn't need to listen to him.
    [Image: A cartoon of a Mom talking to her son in the bedroom.]
    After Mom explained the joke, I actually thought it was pretty funny. I couldn't
    wait to go back to school the next day and try it out myself.
    But it didn't really have the same effect.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy talking to a playing child.] "You're gonna grow up and
    get married to some ice cream! ha!"
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    NOVEMBER

    Monday
    It's been over a week since Rodrick's party, and I stopped worrying that Mom and
    Dad were gonna bust us for it. But remember that bathroom door we switched out?
    Well, I forgot all about it until tonight.
    Rodrick was upstairs in my room bugging me, and Dad went into the bathroom. A
    couple seconds later, he said something that made Rodrick stop cold.
    [Image: A cartoon of two boys in the room.] "Hey...Didn't this door used to lock?"
    I thought it was over. If Dad knew about the DOOR, it was just a matter of time
    before he found out about the party.
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    But Dad didn't put two and two together.
    [Image: A cartoon of ywo scared boys in the room.] "I must be losing my marbles.
    AHHHHH..."
    You know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Mom and Dad found out about the party.
    Rodrick would get grounded, which would be AWESOME. So if I can figure out a
    way to spill the beans without Rodrick finding out, I'm gonna go for it.
    Tuesday
    I got my first letter from my French pen pal, Mamadou, today. I decided to adjust
    my attitude and give this whole pen-pal thing my best effort. So when I wrote back
    to Mamadou today, I tried to be as helpful as possible.

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    [Image: A note to Gregory.] "Dear Gregory,
    I am very privileged to make your acquaintance.
    Mamadou"
    [Image: A note to Mamadou.] "Dear Mamadou,
    I'm pretty sure "aquaintance" doesn't have a "c" in it.
    I really think you need to work on your English.
    Sincerely, Greg"
    I think it's dumb that Madame Lefrere won't let us use e-mail with our pen pals.
    Albert Murphy has already written back and forth with his pen pal a bunch of
    times, and it's costing them a lot of money in stamps.
    [Image: Three notes for the boys.] "Dear Jacques- How old are you?
    Dear Albert, 12.
    Dear Jacques- Oh."
    COST: $14
    114
    Friday

    Tonight, Rowley's parents went out to dinner, so they got him a babysitter.
    I don't know why Rowley can't just watch himself for a few hours, but believe me
    I'm not complaining. Rowley's babysitter is Heather Hills, and she's the prettiest
    girl at Crossland High School.
    So whenever the Jeffersons go out, I always make sure to be up at Rowley's for
    "story time."
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy talking to the boy and girl on the sofa] "Can you
    scooch over a little bit?
    Sorry... There's really not enough room."
    I went up to Rowley's at about 8:00 tonight. I even splashed on some of Rodrick's
    cologne to make sure I made a good impression on Heather.
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    I knocked on the door and waited for Heather to answer. But I was caught a little
    off guard when Rowley's next-door neighbor Leland answered instead.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy looking surprised as a man opens the door.] "Hello!
    Scream!!!"
    I can't believe Rowley's parents switched babysitters from Heather to LELAND.
    They should've at least checked with me before doing something stupid like
    THAT.
    Once I