Rodrick Rules by Jeff Kinney Read Free Book Online Page B

points and move up in levels.
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    But I don't really think Mom got that concept.
    [Image: A cartoon of the father telling the kids about the monsters in the story.]
    "You run into a pack of orcs... and they look hungry!"
    [Image: A cartoon of the children looking scared as the mother keeps on speaking.]
    "We give them all of our food!"
    After about an hour of things going like this, I decided to quit. So I gathered up my
    stuff, and me and Mom headed home.
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    On the way back, Mom was really talking up Magick and Monsters, saying how it
    could help me with my "math skills" and stuff like that. All I can say is, I hope she

    isn't planning on becoming a regular at these games. Because the first chance I get,
    "Mom" is getting handed over to a pack of Orcs.
    Thursday
    After school today, Mom took me to the bookstore and bought just about every
    Magick and Monsters book on the shelf. She must've dropped about $200, and she
    didn't even make me cash in a single Mom Buck.
    [Image: A cartoon of a mother buying books for her son in the shop.]
    I realized maybe I judged Mom a little too quick, and maybe it wasn't such a bad
    thing having her in our group after all.
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    I was all set to take my new books up to Leland's, but that's when I found out there
    was a catch.
    Mom actually bought all those books so me and RODRICK could play Magick and
    Monsters together. She said it was a good way for the two of us to work out our
    differences.
    Mom told Rodrick she wanted him to be the Dungeon Keeper, just like Leland.
    Then she dumped the pile of books on Rodrick's bed and told him to start studying
    up.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy lying in the bed and his mother showing him a book.]
    It was bad enough playing in front of Mom at Leland's house, but I knew playing

    with Rodrick would be about ten times worse.
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    Mom was serious about me and Rodrick playing together, so I knew I was gonna
    have to go through with it. I spent about an hour up in my room making up
    characters with names Rodrick couldn't make fun of, like "Joe" and "Bob."
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy writing something in the books.]
    Once I was finished, I met Rodrick in the kitchen, and we started our game.
    [Image: A cartoon of two boys at the study table.] "You and your group of nerds
    fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The end."
    I guess I should be grateful that it was over with quickly. And I just hope Mom
    saved her receipts on those books.
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    Friday
    The teachers have really been cracking down on kids copying off of each other this
    year. Remember how I said I was glad I got put next to Alex Aruda in
    Pre-Algebra? Well, THAT hasn't done me any good.
    Mrs. Lee is my Pre-Algebra teacher, and I'm guessing she also had Rodrick when
    he was in middle school. Because that woman watches me like a HAWK.
    Sometimes I think it would be really cool if I had a glass eye or something like
    that. First of all, I could use it to play all sorts of wacky tricks on my friends.

    [Image: A cartoon of a boy throwing something at his friend to catch.] "Here catch!
    Ok! What is it?"
    But the main thing I'd use it for is to help me get better grades.
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    On the first day of school, I'd aim my glass eye down like this:
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy.] "Glass eye
    Real eye"
    Then I'd go up to the teacher and say, "Listen, I just wanted to tell you I have a
    glass eye. So don't go thinking I'm looking at other people's papers."
    [Image: A cartoon of a man at the table talking to the boy.] "Okee Doke. Thanks
    for letting me know."
    Then, during a test, I'd aim my glass eye down at my OWN paper, and I'd look at
    some brainy kid's paper with my REAL eye.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy trying to cheat from the boys copy during test.]
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    I could copy away! And the teacher would be too dumb to notice.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man.] "That poor glass eye kid."
    Unfortunately, I DON'T have a glass eye. So if Mom asks me why I flunked my

    pop quiz in Pre-Algebra today,