again.
“Abby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“I know. I’m happy for you, really. I want you to go and be happy. I’m just feeling a little lost right now.” I dried my eyes for the twelfth time and turned to face him. “I really am happy for you. You deserve a nice girl. She seems really great.”
He grinned, “She is.”
We shared a nice dinner, talking about old times and even though I was desperately missing Kellan I found that I had a good time with Tyler.
He finally took me home around 11:30 and he walked me to the door.
“Goodnight, Abby,” he said and reached over and hugged me. I hugged him back, probably a little longer and harder than I should have, but I needed comfort before I faced the firing squad that I knew was meeting me on the other side of the door.
“I’ll keep in touch, and I’ll text you my new number and address, okay?”
“Thank you. Tyler, be happy, okay?”
“I will,” he touched my cheek softly and said, “And so will you. You won’t be seventeen forever.”
“No, it’ll just feel like it,” I grinned and waved at him as he walked back to his car.
“So are you sleeping with him, too?” Joe asked.
“Joe, she’s home, let’s go to bed.” Nancy barked.
“What is up with you? Are you seriously going to just let her get away with this? I mean, for God’s sake, she slept with Kellan…her brother…in our house!”
“He’s not my brother! I love him, and I always have. Frankly, I guess I should thank you both, because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have him. Goodnight.”
Nancy followed me down the hall and as I reached my room she said, “Are you missing something?” she asked, holding up my package of birth control pills.
“Where did you get those?” I asked, reaching for them.
She pulled them back from me and said, “I found them in your drawer. Since your brother is gone now, you won’t need them, will you?”
“I’ll just get more, Nancy. Go ahead, take them. You’re right, I don’t need them right now, anyway,” I said, and slammed the door shut.
I tried my best not to cry, but the tears flowed freely once I stepped into my room and saw my bed. I laid down on it, praying for a trace of his scent, hoping I could just fall asleep and wake up on my 18 th birthday, so that this torture would be over. It wasn’t too long before I learned exactly what torture was…
JUST ONE NIGHT
The next two weeks dragged by slowly. I was a senior and I should be having the time of my life, but instead I dragged through every day, praying for Thanksgiving so Kellan would come home.
I was asked out by numerous guys at school now that Tyler was gone. After about the 14 th one, I calmly and politely said, “Thank you, but I have a boyfriend.”
“I never see you with anyone?” Devon said, obviously assuming I was just trying to turn him down politely.
“He goes to Yale.”
“Hmm, a college guy. I guess you’ll be following him next year, then?”
“He’s in law school, so yes, I’ll be moving to Connecticut this summer.”
“Oh, an older guy. Well, I hope he knows how lucky he is,” he smiled and walked away.
“I’m the lucky one,” I smiled to myself, looking forward to our phone call tonight. We had agreed to only call each other once during the week, on Wednesday’s and twice on the weekend. So far, that hadn’t happened. Neither of us had been able to go more than one day, and I loved it.
“Only 73 days left,” I said, a countdown I loved to say each night when he called. Each night brought me one day closer to seeing him.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” he sighed and continued, “I don’t think I can come for Thanksgiving, Abby.”
“What?” I asked, panicking.
“I have to take a pre-bar exam and they screwed up the dates. I can’t miss this test…I’m so sorry.”
I swallowed hard, but
Learning to Kill: Stories