Sexual Perversity in Chicago and the Duck Variations by David Mamet Read Free Book Online

Ways
EIGHTH VARIATION

Ahh, I Don't Know
NINTH VARIATION

At The Zoo They Got Ducks
TENTH VARIATION

It's A Crying Shame
ELEVENTH VARIATION

You Know, I Remember
TWELFTH VARIATION

Whenever I Think Of Wild Flying Things
THIRTEENTH VARIATION

They Stuff Them
FOURTEENTH VARIATION

For Centuries Prior To This Time

     

    FIRST VARIATION
    “It's Nice, The Park Is Nice”
    EMIL :
It's Nice.
GEORGE :
The Park is nice.
EMIL :
You forget.
GEORGE :
. . . you remember.
EMIL :
I don't know . . .
GEORGE :
What's to know? There's a boat!
EMIL :
So early?
GEORGE :
I suppose so. . . . because there it is.
EMIL :
I wonder if it's cold out there.
GEORGE :
There, here, it's like it is today. How it is today, that's how it is.
EMIL :
But the boat is moving . . .
GEORGE :
So it's colder in relation how fast the boat is going.
EMIL :
The water is colder than the land.
GEORGE :
So it's cold in relation to the water.
EMIL :
So it's a different temperature on the boat than on a bench.
GEORGE :
They probably got sweaters.
EMIL :
There's more than one in the boat?
GEORGE :
Wait till they come round again.
EMIL :
Where did they go?
GEORGE :
Over there, behind the pier, where could they go?
EMIL :
Not far . . . it's expensive a boat.
GEORGE :
They care?
EMIL :
No.
GEORGE :
If they got the money for a boat, they can afford it.
EMIL :
It's not cheap.
GEORGE :
I said it was cheap?
EMIL :
Even a small boat.
GEORGE :
I know it's not cheap.
EMIL :
Even a very small boat is expensive.
GEORGE :
Many times a small boat is even more expensive.
EMIL :
Ah.
GEORGE :
Depending . . .
EMIL :
Mmm.
GEORGE :
On many factors.
EMIL :
Mmm.
GEORGE :
. . . the size of the boat . . .
EMIL :
Yes.
GEORGE :
. . . the engine.
EMIL :
Yes. The size of the engine.
GEORGE :
Certainly, certainly.
EMIL :
The speed of the engine.
GEORGE :
Many factors.
EMIL :
The speed of the boat.
GEORGE :
That. None of it's cheap. It's all very intricate.
EMIL :
Cars.
GEORGE :
Boats, cars . . . air travel. The military. It was never cheap.
EMIL :
Housing.
GEORGE (looks) :
There's two of them in the boat.
EMIL :
It's the same boat?
GEORGE :
How many boats have we seen today?
EMIL :
That's what I'm asking.
GEORGE :
One.
EMIL (looks) :
Another boat!
GEORGE :
One, two . . .
EMIL :
A real clipper, too.
GEORGE :
Where?
EMIL :
Look at her will ya !
GEORGE :
That?
EMIL :
What else? Go, sister!
GEORGE :
That?
EMIL :
Sure as shootin’.
GEORGE :
That's the water pump.
EMIL :
That?
GEORGE :
Yes.
EMIL :
That?
GEORGE :
Yes.
EMIL :
The pump house?
GEORGE :
Yes.
EMIL :
She's the water pump?
GEORGE :
Yes.
EMIL :
. . . look at her float.
GEORGE :
Mmm.
EMIL :
Look at her . . . just sit there.
GEORGE :
Mmm.
EMIL :
All year ‘round.
GEORGE :
I'll give you that.
EMIL :
What a life.
GEORGE :
Ducks!
EMIL :
Where?
GEORGE :
Where I'm pointing.
EMIL :
Ahh.
GEORGE :
A sure sign of spring.
EMIL :
Autumn, too.
GEORGE :
Uh huh.
EMIL :
. . . you see them . . .
GEORGE :
Yes.
EMIL :
They go south . . .
GEORGE :
Urn.
EMIL :
They come back . . .
GEORGE :
Ummm.
EMIL :
They live . . .
GEORGE :
They go . . .
EMIL :
Ahhh.
GEORGE :
Ducks like to go . . .
EMIL :
. . . yes?
GEORGE :
Where it's nice . . .
EMIL :
Ehhh?
GEORGE :
At that time!
EMIL :
Of course.
GEORGE :
And they're made so they just go. Something inside says it's getting a little cold . . . a little too cold . . .
EMIL :
Like humans, they don't like cold.
GEORGE :
And there they go.
EMIL :
There they go.
GEORGE :
And the same when it's warm.
EMIL :
They come back.
GEORGE :
They got a leader. A lead duck. He starts . . . he's a duck. But he stays with the pack. Many times. He comes, he goes. He learns the route. Maybe he's got a little more on the ball.
EMIL :
All this time there is another lead duck.
GEORGE :
Of course. But He, he goes, he lives, maybe he finds a mate . . .
EMIL :
Yes.
GEORGE :
And he waits. . . . The lead duck . . . who knows?
EMIL :
He dies.
GEORGE :
One day, yes. He dies. He gets lost . . .
EMIL :
And our duck moves up.
GEORGE :
He is now the leader. It is he