Sexual Perversity in Chicago and the Duck Variations by David Mamet Read Free Book Online Page B

can be forced to tell.
GEORGE :
They don't got those beaks for nothing.
EMIL :
Nothing is for Nothing.
GEORGE :
Too true.
EMIL :
Everything has got a purpose.
GEORGE :
True. . . .
EMIL :
Every blessed thing . . .
GEORGE :
Oh yes.
EMIL :
. . . that lives has got a purpose.
GEORGE :
Ducks . . .
EMIL :
Sweat glands . . .
GEORGE :
Yeah.
EMIL :
We don't sweat for nothing, you know.
GEORGE :
I know it.
EMIL :
Everything that lives must sweat.
GEORGE :
It's all got a purpose.
EMIL :
It's all got a rhyme and a reason.
GEORGE :
The purpose of sweat is, in itself, not clear.
EMIL :
Yes . . .
GEORGE :
But . . . there it is.
EMIL :
A purpose and a reason. Even those we, at this time, do not clearly understand.
GEORGE :
Sure as shootin’.
EMIL :
The yearly migration of the duck, to mate and take a little rest . . .
GEORGE :
Purpose.
EMIL :
Sweat . . .
GEORGE :
Purpose.
EMIL :
There's nothing you could possibly name that doesn't have a purpose. Don't even bother to try. Don't waste your time.
GEORGE :
I'm in no hurry.
EMIL :
It's all got a purpose. The very fact that you are sitting here right now on this bench has got a purpose.
GEORGE :
And so, by process of elimination, does the bench.
EMIL :
Now you're talking sense.
GEORGE :
Darn Tootin’.
EMIL :
The law of the universe is a law unto itself.
GEORGE :
Yes. Yes.
EMIL :
And woe be to the man who fools around.
GEORGE :
You can't get away with nothing.
EMIL :
And if you could it would have a purpose.
GEORGE :
Nobody knows that better than me.
EMIL :
. . . Well put.

     

    FOURTH VARIATION
    “The Duck Is Not Like Us”
    EMIL :
The duck is not like us, you know.
GEORGE :
How so?
EMIL :
The Duck is an egg-bearing creature.
GEORGE :
And we're not, I suppose?
EMIL :
I didn't say that. The young of the duck at birth are already trained to do things most humans learn only much later. Swim. Follow their mother.
GEORGE :
Fly.
EMIL :
No. I don't believe they can fly until later life.
GEORGE :
But it's possible.
EMIL :
It's possible, but you're wrong.
GEORGE :
. . . As a matter of fact I do remember reading somewhere that many small ducks do possess the ability to fly at birth.
EMIL :
I do think you are mistaken.
GEORGE :
No. It could be. . . . But no.
EMIL :
Yes. I believe you're sadly wrong.
GEORGE :
No. I wouldn't swear to it. . . .
EMIL :
No.
GEORGE :
But I'd almost swear I've read that somewhere. . . .
EMIL :
Yes, I'm fairly sure you're wrong on that one point.
GEORGE :
Some little-known group of ducks.
EMIL :
No. All my knowledge of nature tells me I must say no.
GEORGE :
A very small group of ducks.
EMIL :
I can not let that by.
GEORGE :
But I think . . .
EMIL :
It's possible you misread the . . .
GEORGE :
Possibly, but . . .
EMIL :
No, no. No. I must still stick to my saying no. No.
GEORGE :
. . . Perhaps I misread it. What a thing, however. To be able to fly. In later life.
EMIL :
Swimming ain't so bad either.
GEORGE :
But any fool who knows how to swim can swim. It takes a bird to Fly.
EMIL :
Insects also fly.
GEORGE :
But not in the same category.
EMIL :
Insects . . . birds and insects and . . . I could be wrong but . . .
GEORGE :
You are wrong. Nothing else flies.

     

    FIFTH VARIATION
    “Did You Know What I Was Reading”
    GEORGE :
Did you know what I was reading Somewhere?
EMIL :
Don't start.
GEORGE :
About the Stratosphere. The Stratosphere, particularly the lower stratosphere, is becoming messy with gook.
EMIL :
Eh?
GEORGE :
According to the weatherman.
EMIL :
Our Stratosphere?
GEORGE :
Everybody's. Because it's all the same thing.
EMIL :
Eh?
GEORGE :
As if you drop a pebble in a pond and the ripples spread you-know-not-where . . .
EMIL :
Yes?
GEORGE :
So, when you stick shit up in the Stratosphere . . .
EMIL :
Yes?
GEORGE :
You got the same problem.
EMIL :
What kind of gook?
GEORGE :
All kinds. Dirt . . .
EMIL :
Yes.
GEORGE :
Gook . . .
EMIL :
No good.
GEORGE :
Automotive . . .
EMIL :
Yeah.
GEORGE :
Cigarette smoke. It's all up there. It's not going anywhere.
EMIL :
Yeah.
GEORGE