Shadows Over Paradise by Isabel Wolff Read Free Book Online

me. “It’s so … far.”
    He looked puzzled. “But you went up to Scotland to do that memoir last year. We emailed and Skyped, didn’t we? It was fine.” I nodded. “If you did this one, how long would you have to go for?”
    “The usual.” I put the top on my pen. “A week to ten days.”
    “Well …” He shrugged. “Perhaps it’s come up now for a reason. It might be good for us to have some time apart.”
    “So that we can get used to it. Is that what you mean?” I dreaded hearing his answer, but I had to ask.
    “No, so that we have some breathing space, to think about everything. It could … help.” He didn’t look as though he believed that it would. “So where exactly is Polvarth?”
    “It’s in south Cornwall, close to a fishing village called Trennick. It’s very small—just one long lane that leads down to a beach. At the other end of it there’s a farm.” The Tregears’ farm, I now realized.
    “You’ve been there before?”
    I nodded. “There are a few holiday homes, built in the sixties.” I pictured the one that we’d stayed in, Penlee. “There’s also a hotel.” It had a big garden with a play area at the end of it with swings and a seesaw. “Just below the hotel is the beach. And on the cliff path behind the beach is a tea hut—or there was. Perhaps it’s gone now.”
    “When were you last there? You’ve never mentioned the place to me.”
    “I … forgot about it. I was nine.”
    “So you went there with your mother?” I nodded. “And was it a happy holiday?” I didn’t answer. Rick exhaled loudly, clearly frustrated by the conversation. “Obviously not. Then perhaps you shouldn’t go—if it’s going to upset you, it won’t be worth it. But you’re thirty-four, Jen. You’re not a child.” He stood up abruptly. “I think I’ll walk up to school. I’ve got to plan tomorrow’s lessons, and I might as well do it there.” His smile was tight. “Whether you go to Cornwall or not is your decision. See you later, darling.”
    I wanted to throw my arms round him and implore him tostay. Instead, I sat perfectly still. “Yes,” I said coolly. “See you later.”
    After Rick left, I sat at my desk, frozen with misery, as the daylight began to fade. The nights were drawing in. I dreaded the thought of another winter in the city.
    I took the phone out of the cradle. “It’s my decision,” I murmured. “I don’t have to do it.” I tapped in Vincent’s number. “I don’t want to do it.” My finger hovered over the button. “And I’m not going to do it.” I pressed Call.
    The phone was picked up after three rings. “Hello?”
    “Vincent? It’s Jenni Clark again.”
    “Hello, Jenni. Thanks for phoning me back.”
    “Vincent …” I steeled myself. “I’ve thought about it.”
    “Yes?”
    “I’ve also discussed it with Rick. And the thing is …” My eyes strayed to the shelf.
Transcending Fear
. “The thing is … that …”
    “So … what have you decided?”
    How to Face Your Demons
.
    “I’ll come.”

Three
    The following Saturday I went to Paddington station and boarded the train for Cornwall. The week had rushed by, with the final edits on the baby-care guide due. I was glad to finish the project and to stop thinking about babies. I’d then thrown myself into researching the Dutch East Indies and the Japanese occupation.
    Rick and I hadn’t really discussed our problems again. In any case we’d hardly seen each other. He’d been busy at school with parents’ evenings, and he’d spent time at the gym. He was clearly avoiding being with me. But when we did finally talk, we decided that it would be better if we didn’t phone, text, or Skype while I was away.
    “We need to find out how much we miss each other,” Rick had said as he drove me to the station. “Perhaps that’ll give us the answer.”
    “Perhaps it will,” I responded bleakly. I hated the uncertainty between us but didn’t know what else to