hopeâthe North.
Jamilet felt a nervous kind of elation at the prospect of being so close to her goal. The journey had been easier than expected. She had been prepared to devote days, and even weeks, to the crossing, well aware that many were caught and returned to the border only to attempt it again the very next day. This could go on for weeks, and often the more stubborn were detained and incarcerated for months. But here she was, taking part in a plan as simple for her to understand and execute as any of her household chores.
Juan, a soft-spoken man with an easy smile, was the only member of the group Jamilet trusted. When some complained that the scrawny boy was slowing them down, or not collecting his share of the firewood when it was time to set up camp, Juan reminded them that theyâd be wise to conserve their energy for the Rio Grande, and that the bandits were always on the prowl, so bright, burning fires were a bad idea anyway. Jamilet made certain to walk no more than a few paces away from him, and when it came time to rest, she always lay as near him as she could.
Juan appraised his young traveling companion with increasing suspicion. He was familiar with the degradations of the north, of the open prostitution and of the men who dressed like women and danced nearly naked in the clubs located in the seedier parts of the big cities. Surely Jaime was headed for such a place. In Juanâs village, his sort were hung from trees and flogged until the priest could be assured that the evil had been beaten out of them. Juan took note of Jaimeâs delicate wrists. This one had never been hung from a tree, and such tender skin wouldnât survive too many lashings of the whip. Feeling more pity than disgust, he prodded Jamilet on the shoulder, more roughly than necessary, aware that the others were watching, and told her that his brother was to meet him across the border and take him on to Los Angeles. With his fair share of money for gas, Jaime was welcome to join them, he said.
Incredulous and tearful when confronted with such good fortune, Jamilet reached for the money she kept stuffed in her sock, and gave it all to him before he could change his mind. She was now penniless, but she trusted her skill at discerning character, and she had no doubt that Juan was a good man who wouldnât harm or deceive her.
The night before they were due to cross the river, it was so close that they could hear the thundering chorus of water that passed swiftly between the land of the north and the land of the south. Jamilet imagined the sound to be the voice of God, not so different from the false description sheâd given her grandmother days before, although it felt like a lifetime ago. She closed her eyes, and tried to decipher the meaning of it all. Was the message an ominous or a hopeful one? She couldnât be sure, but she had no doubt that there was a message for her there. Before sleep claimed her thoughts, she lifted her eyes to the night sky, and promised upon the light of every star in the heavens that if she wasnât rid of the mark in two years time, she would end her life. She wouldnât wait for God to take it from her as her mother had done. Sheâd simply climb to the top of the tallest building in the city and jump to her death. She found comfort in the thought that it would be impossible to distinguish the mark from the bloody mess that would be left of her. Anyone who jumped from such a high place would look exactly the same, and in this way at least, she would have succeeded.
Â
The next morning, Jamilet awoke to see the dusty boots of her companions at eye level, as they stood over her. One or two were laughing nervously, and the others drifted off to begin packing their meager provisions. When she turned to do the same, she was unable to move her hands and feet, and realized they had been tied while she slept.
Juan, who had been watching and waiting for her to wake, sat near