Tell Me When by Stina Lindenblatt Read Free Book Online

still be with me. Things never would have changed.
    Neither Emma nor his parents realized the hoodie was missing. That, or they never bothered to ask for it back. It’s all I have left of him, other than his old basketball T-shirt and the photos of us together.
    Abandoning math for a moment, I remove a small scrapbook from my desk drawer. I sit back on the bed and leaf through the pages. They’re pictures of happier times, before any of this happened. When the worst thing I had to worry about was if Trent would be healthy in time for the homecoming dance, because he had the stomach flu.
    I brush my fingers over the picture of us camping with our friends, the summer before I started volunteering at the animal shelter.
    “I talked to a woman at the shelter today,” I said, the campfire crackling and popping in front of us, Trent’s arm around me, keeping me close. I’d known Trent forever, and we had been best friends for just as long. Even though we had officially been boyfriend and girlfriend for over a year, some days I still couldn’t believe it was real. Him and me.
    “What did she say?” he asked.
    “That she would love to have me help out.”
    He hugged me tighter and kissed me. “I’m so proud of you.”
    “How much is she paying you?” Emma asked.
    “She isn’t. It’s a volunteer position. But the money isn’t important. It’ll look good on my college application.” I sounded like Mom, but she has a point. Plus it would look good for when I applied to veterinarian school. A means to the end, as Mom always said, even though she’d prefer I followed her path and study pre-law, like Michael.
    “How many hours a week is it for?” Emma asked.
    “Until basketball season starts, I’ll be working there an hour or two every day after school.” With my high grades, I could handle it. More than handle it. I’d be around animals. That’s all I’d ever wanted, but Mom didn’t like pets. They were messy and expensive, in her opinion. The closest thing I came to having a pet was Dragonfly, Trent and Emma’s cat.
    Emma pouted. “Now I’ll never see you.”
    I close the scrapbook and slip it back in my desk drawer. Regret claws at me like a rabid raccoon. If I hadn’t taken the position, Trent and Michael would be alive.
    Lying down, I pull two old T-shirts from under my pillow and hug them, hard, the comforting scents of Trent and Michael long gone. I want to roll up in a tight ball and fall into a dreamless sleep, but that’s impossible. My sleep is never dreamless, never free of darkness. I burrow the T-shirts back under my pillow, hiding them from Brittany, hiding them from Jordan, hiding them with a piece of me wrapped securely inside—and return to my math.
    An F. I’ve never received an F in my entire life. Not even a C or a D. A tired voice reminds me what I could lose if I don’t smarten up. I need to pass the course as part of my pre-vet requirements. If I don’t, I’ll have to repeat it. Sitting through it the first time is bad enough. Sitting through it a second time will be hell.
    A sharp knock on the door intrudes on my thoughts.
    “Coming.” I scoot off the bed. Most people in the dorm don’t bother locking their doors when they’re in their rooms. I’m not most people. I unlock the door and open it.
    Becca, the R.A., gives me a sad smile. “Hi, Amber. I need to talk to you for a moment. Is this a good time?”
    Not really . “Sure, what’s up?” I open the door wider and let her in.
    “It’s been brought to my attention you’re having nightmares and waking your roommate. She put in a request for a room change, but unfortunately nothing’s available. Is there something you’d like to talk about? Maybe it would help.”
    I cross my arms, then uncross them and let them drop to my sides. “No, I’m fine.”
    “Well, my door is open any time you need to talk.”
    “Thanks.” Only weak people admit they need help , Amber.
    Jordan walks into my room and freezes when she