The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers Read Free Book Online

Promised Land, things hadn’t gone smoothly. There had been wars, death, tragedy. The people were stubborn and rebellious. Prophets cried out for repentance. Israel turned away over and over again. God’s people wouldn’t listen. They wouldn’t trust and obey. They were stiff-necked and headstrong. And God punished them in order to turn them back.
    Oh, God, I trusted You. I’ve obeyed.
    All men sin and fall short of the glory of God.
    She tried to think how she had displeased the Lord. She loved Him. Sometimes she thought she was born adoring Him. As far back as she could remember, Jesus had been real to her. He was the Bridegroom, the Holy One, her Savior and Lord. She had been raised to feel secure and safe and protected in His love. She had been taught that His loving hand was in everything.
    In everything.
    Are You in this, Lord? Are You?
    God is the potter. I am the clay.
    She could see her mother smiling and saying, “God is molding you into the beautiful woman He wants you to be.”
    Oh, God, why have You crushed me? Why have You cast me into the pit? Aren’t acts of violence wrought in retribution? Oh, Jesus, what did I do to displease You? Was it because I was too proud of Ethan? Was I too happy about marrying him? Was it because I didn’t spend enough time with poor Mr. Packard? Was I rude to that man in the white station wagon? Haven’t I prayed enough? Have I loved Ethan more than You? Is that why You’ve put this wall between us? Oh, Jesus, what did I do wrong? Oh, Jesus, Jesus . . .
    The telephone rang. She knew it was Ethan and didn’t answer.

Chapter 2

    Dynah saw Joe sitting comfortably at the top of the marble steps of the library, his back resting against a pillar. He smiled and stood, meeting her halfway as she came up.
    “Going to work?”
    “Not until six.” She raised her head and searched his eyes briefly. “I thought I’d study for a while.”
    “It’s a nice day to study outside. What do you say we go to the quad?”
    She hesitated, suspicious. “Did Ethan send you?” When his mouth curved ruefully, she rushed on to explain herself. “You’ve always made it such a point that I’m Ethan’s girl.”
    “You still are.”
    She frowned, wondering why he was waiting for her. He must have a reason. It had to be Ethan. Shifting her books, she held them tightly against her chest and waited. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what Joe had to say. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what Ethan might have told him about her behavior last night. “I’m not angry anymore, if that’s why you’re here waiting for me. You can tell Ethan I find no fault with him. He can’t help how he feels.”
    Joe’s expression changed, softening as he searched her face. He didn’t avoid looking at her the way Ethan did but gazed straight into her eyes, accepting the inner turmoil and anguish that lay just beneath her surface control. He didn’t hide from her pain. “Let me be a gentleman and carry your books.”
    Dynah allowed him to take them from her. They walked along the cobblestone road and between the political science and liberal arts buildings to the quad. The maple trees were just beginning to bud with spring leaves. Before the attack, she would have noticed and remarked about it. Now, she didn’t even look up. She stayed close to Joe as they walked beneath the shade and into the sunlight again.
    Joe didn’t say anything, but she felt comfortable with his silence. Unlike Ethan, Joe didn’t try to fill every minute with words or suppositions.
    “God has a reason for everything He does.”
    She couldn’t seem to drive that thought out of her mind.
    What reason, Lord? Tell me what reason.
    “This looks good,” Joe said and put her books down.
    Dynah looked around. He had picked a place in the open, no shade, sunlight streaming down from blue heaven. She used to love this exact spot—had come often with Janet and other friends to feel the sun beat down. Now she wished for a dark