The Before
How was it possible that someone I knew, someone I’d sat beside in class for most of a year, someone I’d crushed on and yearned for, might be dead?
    Sudden panic clutched at my heart. This couldn’t be happening, but it was. The danger was very, very real. And it was coming closer.
    I crept back into the bedroom to where my mom stood, frowning down at the two suitcases. She’d zipped one shut, but the other one, Mel’s, was bulging in the middle, a pink backpack strap poking out the side.
    “Mom—”
    “I think I’m going to have to take the books out of your bag to make room for Mel’s backpack. You don’t mind, do you? If you only have room for one, which do you want to take? I’m not making promises. There might not be room even for one.”
    For once, I didn’t argue about having to make a sacrifice for Mel. “I don’t care. Mom, I have a bad feeling about this.”
    She looked up at me then, frowning. “Honey—”
    “I don’t think we should go.”
    “You know—”
    I grabbed her arm, strangely desperate all of a sudden. “No. Listen to me. Let’s just grab whatever we have in the car and go to Uncle Rodney’s.”
    “Honey,” my mom began, shaking her head. “You know we can’t do that.”
    “We could. Uncle Rodney—”
    “We barely made it out of our neighborhood the last time we tried.”
    “But we have to try again! This time we have an excuse for all being in the car together. That cop can’t hassle us.”
    My mom sighed and shook her head. “Don’t you get it? We’d never get out of Texas. They’ve set up roadblocks on every state border, trying to control the spread of the virus.”
    “They can’t be on every road out of Texas. I know we could find a way. Let’s go!” I couldn’t explain this urge to run. Yeah, I’d been arguing to head to Uncle Rodney’s, but this was different. This was crushing panic. This was mindless fleeing.
    “You want me to break the law? Defy the government? Put more people at risk?”
    “I—” But I broke off. I didn’t know what I wanted other than not to go to this stupid Farm. “I’m just . . .”
    Instead of being mad, Mom tilted her head to the side and just shook it. “Oh, honey . . .”
    “Never mind. I know.” I turned away from her.
    My mom must have seen right through me, because she gently pulled me down on the bed and sat beside me, cradling my hands in hers, like I was a child.
    “This is temporary. Whatever you’re worried about going to the Farm facility, it’s temporary. I’ve already filed the exemption paperwork with the NPDCO. I’m sure you’ll be out again in no time.”
    Right. Like I was going to trust the National Pandemic Disease Control Organization.
    “The paperwork for Mel—”
    “For both of you. I worked all afternoon contacting people. I have letters from her caseworker, her occupational therapist and her neurologist all saying that she can’t function without you. When her exemption comes through, yours will, too.”
    “But—”
    “Lily, this is what I do. I argue for a living. I fight the injustices. I trust that the government will keep you safe until I can get you out. Let me do my job. Trust me.”
    Suddenly the fear of the past few days washed over me and I threw myself into my mother’s arms. She stilled for a second, then slowly wrapped her arms around me and held me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe, but it felt perfect, because for that one brief moment it felt like I had my mom back. Not the nervous, strung-out mom who had haunted the house for the past few days, but my real mom. The fighter. The tough one. The one who would do anything to protect her children.
    What could I do except trust her? She’d been fighting for Mel all Mel’s life. Now it was her turn to fight for me too. And she would win. She would get us back, because there was no one better at her job than she was.
    Funny, I had fought so long and hard for what little freedom I had, but now that I was faced with

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